(Closed) Help Bees! EMERGENCY!

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh, that stinks. I think you are just going to have to make due. There is no way you are going to be able to find somewhere else that is available and be able to change without losing money.  While it does suck, maybe he can drape flowers and tulle around it to not make it so harsh?

Post # 4
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I honestly prefer the new one. But it is clear that you do not.

If you really feel that this will ruin your wedding day, then I guess you can postpone it.

But just remember, on the day of your wedding… I am almost 100% sure that you will be so in love and in such bliss that you wont even notice the  pergola. And when you look back at your pictures, all you will remember is how happy you felt.

Good luck! 

Post # 5
4824 posts
Honey bee

I do think its pretty, and I know its not what you wanted. But relax and don’t think about it for a day. This is just your knee jerk reaction.

Is it really worth the cost and inconvenience to you and your guests over a pergola that is pretty, but just not your style?

What did your florist say about possible decoraion ideas.

Maybe to soften it and make it less modern (I dont think its masculine) you could drape fabric.

Over the course of the wedding and wedding day you will only be there for 20-30 minutes and the bulk of your time will be at the reception. During that time you will be focused on your husband.

Post # 6
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why would they do this and not let you know when you originally booked it?

I still think it’s very beautiful and to be honest an emergency could be “a lot worse”. However, it is your wedding. I would look at how much money we would lose, how it might inconvenience your guests, issues with the caterers, bridal party and people that are travelling from out of town and scheduled off work to attend, before I decide if I’m going to postpone.

Good Luck!

Post # 7
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I also prefer the gazebo and the feel that it gives … BUT there is SO much you can do with the new structure.  I would stick with your current venue and have your florist decorate it with flowers, vines and/or branches.

Post # 8
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Okay first I think you need to slow down, take a breath, and think about what the word “emergency” means. Really. You’re not having a problem with yours or your fi’s health. You’re not having second thoughts about being married. In the grand scheme of things, THIS? Is not an emergency. Maybe keeping that in mind will help you calm down a little. 

As for the change… first I think it is a huge improvement. I love the pergolla, it is gorgeous. Second, it sounds like you have a great florist so why not have him/her do some swagging flowers over the pergola to make it less “masculine”? Third… do you really want to postpone your wedding over THIS? You’re going to put your life on hold because of the backdrop of your ceremony? I know it isn’t exactly what you pictured but you need to roll with the punches here. Make the best of it and remember the most important thing– you are getting married to the love of your life! Thats what matters. 

Post # 9
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh no! So sorry – the last thing you need in the final countdown days is a change like this! but – step back a minute and take a deep breath. I’m guessing you already put down a deposit with your venue, if not a second installment, and you will lose that money (plus have to redirect your guests) if you back out now. The pergola IS a totally different feel than the gazebo, but bring in your most creative friends/vendors and really look at what you can do to it – you could drape it in net/chiffon and cover in flowers, you could hang lanterns, you could cover it in entwined brances with scattered flowers, and you may even be able to bring in moveable lattice “walls”  or railings to give it more of the feel of the gazebo. Talk to the wedding coordinator at your venue, calmy but firmly explain why you’re disappointed and what the look is you’re going for – he or she may also have some creative ideas about how to make the perola fit in your overall “feel” you wanted. Good luck, keep us updated!

Post # 10
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

PLEASE don’t postpone your wedding with less than a month to go over a PERGOLA. That is so inconvenient for your guests and family and is quite honestly veering into Bridezilla territory. I know it’s not what you prefer, but sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches.  

Post # 11
11390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think the new one is pretty, actually much prettier! I wouldn’t post pon the wedding over it, but I do think so much more can be done with the way its made now, with flowers!

Post # 12
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

To me this doesn’t really constitute an emergency, or something to postpone your wedding over. No one, including you, is going to be thinking “Oh, what a masculine looking pergola…” Let’s not go overboard here.

Post # 13
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I totally see how you like the old one better, its soo pretty! But i really think you could make the new one look really really pretty too!!!!!! If you use lots of fabric draps itll help to soften it up a LOT and then maybe some flowers too if you want. I say dont postpone everyone is going to think its gorgous either way. I know its a HUGE deal right now, but i think that by the end of your wedding day it wont even matter anymore.

Post # 14
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I like the gazebo, but the new pergola isn’t so bad. Dress it up with some flowers and it will be fine. I understand what you’re going through but I don’t think it’s really worth stressing out over, so close to your wedding.

Post # 15
8 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I definitely think they were in the wrong for not telling you about the change.  However, I also like it better than the original gazebo.  I think it is beautiful although it is clearly not your taste.  

Is there anywhere else on the grounds you could hold your ceremony so that the new pergola isn’t involved?  If it bothers you that much, I think your best bet is to find a different location on the grounds rather than to alltogether postpone your wedding.  In the grand scheme of things, this is rather insignificant.  I think you are just so overwhelmed at the moment that it’s difficult to maintain perspective on this issue.  Your wedding day is about you and your Fiance, not about a gazebo or pergola.

Post # 16
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I personally prefer pergolas over gazebos. They just look more modern to me. Drape and dress the pergola with flowers and it will be beautiful I promise you!

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