- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I am in need of some advice about my friend. I’ll call her “Suzy.” Here is background from a couple of months ago if you wanted to read it, but I’ll do my best to summarize:
Suzy is my oldest friend, and we have been great friends since middle school. She still lives in my home town, so we are about 1.5 hours away from each other right now. I was in her wedding 2 years ago, and as soon as I was engaged I asked her to be a bridesmaid in mine, to which she said yes.
Several months after that she started going through a strange period of about a month where she kind of “became a different person.” She went out drinking every night, many nights not even coming home, and being wild in general. She even admitted to cheating on her husband! She was also very distant during this period and she blew off most of my attempts at communication, so I had no idea this was going on (though it seemed strange). Her husband was actually the one who texted me and said “Suzy is a completely different person than the person we both knew a month ago. I don’t know what’s going on.” Strange. (We actually suspected something neurological because she recently started having seizures but would not get it checked out).
I did meet up with her a few times during this period (she showed up with another guy!) but she didn’t say much about what was going on. She eventually “snapped” out of her behavior after about a month, and tried to go back to her husband. He was hearbroken and furious at this point, and refused to try to resolve the marriage.
I reached out to her and we talked a few times and met up. I really just tried to be as supportive as possible.
Leading up to the current problem/ the e-mail
She became less and less distant from me as the wedding planning progressed. I asked her multiple times to try on dresses to which she always said “yes that would be great!” but never followed through. We had plans a few times to get together but she was a no show and then I wouldn’t hear from her until weeks later.
After several e-mail and phone call attempts about ordering bridesmaid dresses I decided to send her an e-mail to ask if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid, because I knew she was going through a lot and it might be too much to expect her to be my bridesmaid as well. Here is the e-mail I sent her:
“Hey Suzy, You haven’t been responding to any of my messages about the wedding stuff. Kinda getting the feeling you might not want to be in it anymore? I would LOVE for you to be in it, but I totally understand if you can’t afford to/don’t want to anymore because of everything that’s been happening/ rather come as a guest. Just please let me know either way. I promise I won’t be upset. Everyone else has tried on dresses and we are just waiting for you to see if you like it. Love you girl and hope everything is going okay with you. Please let me know. Miss you.”
So that was 2 months ago, and still no response.
I really don’t even care about the bridesmaid thing at this point. I am assuming she is not going to be in the wedding and that’s fine. The time I am upset about is that she has completely cut me out of her life!
She changed her phone number, and I got it from her mother. I called and texted her once each, and no response.
According to her Facebook she is already in a new relationship.
This is a girl who has made many many stupid mistakes, and I have been right there to support her through every one of them. I have never judged Suzy and have only offered positive support. I love her like a sister. She is an amazing, smart, funny, outgoing girl who can never seem to realize her full potential. Suzy has always seemed to value my friendship up until now. When she (willingly and excitedly) came to help me choose a wedding dress Suzy even cried to my mom that I am the only one who has ever believed in her.
I am just so heartbroken and angry that she doesn’t even have the decency to pick up the phone or respond to my emails! Really!? Not even a simple “Sorry I won’t be able to attend. I need time.”