Post # 1
Hi Ladies! I’m new to the bee…not engaged yet but hopefully soon..
I’m actually writing today because well I need to talk to someone and why not talk to the bees! Almost 3 years ago I took a job that was “supposed” to be my dream job, I worked my tail off for 4 years at a place that didn’t come close to paying me what I’m worth and finally-finally wait FINALLY found a place that would! I started this job bright eyed and bushy tailed-excited-eager and ready to learn, sure they’re were bumps along the way but I mustered through them and this year received the highest performance evaluation of my professional career. I looked like I was on top of the world. Key word “looked”.
Let me back up to the kind of hell I’m living in everyday. I am an emotional wreck and this job makes me question my intellegence, self worth and shit you name it. I was asked to go to an amazing conference via email a few months ago. Yup THE conference to go to and after reading the email chain discovered I’d only been invited because I was “someone of color”. I cried for days before leaving and to this day it stings when I think about it and makes me sick that I’m still here. In diverse cities when I have to travel with other ppl, I’m treated as the token minority and it makes me sick! I never thought I’d say this but this job has defeated me, it’s taken me through hell and still demands more and more. I’m sitting in my office wondering what the hell I’m still doing here and I guess the short answer is I don’t know.
My boyfriend has literally watched the woman that he loves reduced to a crying hot mess weekly. Oh and to top it all off they have all of these bonding things for us to do and I HATE GOING. This crowd makes me feel like I’m weird, different and no one has to say it but I’ve pretty much been pegged an office weirdo/antisocial ALL because I don’t think and talk like an ass kisser. My boyfriend refuses to go to any company outings EVER because in his mind why would he be around the ppl that are the source of my tears….I AGREE.
Wow Bee’s I didn’t really know that I had this much to say until I started writing. I know I’m not the only one working at this kind of job, does anyone have any advice for me at all. I’m going to try and stick it out until May or June 1 but anylonger and I seriously think I’ll go crazy.
Post # 3
@prplebutterfly: Find a new job! I went through this at my former job. I was the first and ONLY African American manager. They treated me like shit! I stayed for almost 3 years before being fired for complaining about their illegal racist actions. I have a discrimination lawsuit pending with the EEOC. I was ranked in the top 25% of the company when I was fired. It’s not worth it….find a new place to work.
Post # 4
@prplebutterfly: I’m so sorry! I’ve been in that situation where it was killing me slowly to be going to a job that i hate and it took a toll on my home life too. I finally had to call it quits and look for a differnt job. I took a pay cut at my new place but i’m so happy here i wouldnt change it.
I think you need to start looking. It’s not healthy to be in a place that makes you feel like it. And you dont have to take it either. I would keep looking for something else and save up right now in case you do have to take a pay cut.
I’m so sorry-i wish i had more insightful stuff to tell you. But get out of there before soon. their is something else out there that will make you happy.
Post # 5
In short, if you’re miserable, try looking for a new job. It’s cliche but totally true: life’s too short. You spend the majority of your time at work, why be miserable? It’s a luxury to have a job while looking for a new one so take advantage of that. Best of luck!
Post # 6
I say start looking for a new job. I was in the same situation and when I left all my issues went away. I suffered from heart burn and as soon I left that place my health got better. I know if you do not like them you dont want to interact but I would say just try to be social for a little. I did not leave but I got laid off and I ran home grinning from ear to ear.
Post # 7
@Soladylike: I seriously think I’m beginning to have FOF, you know fear of failure. I was NEVER ever-ever like this before I started this job and now the thought of doing a job search scares me to death. I could never admit this to anyone but it does and more so I’m afraid of the hell I don’t know. I mean what if it’s like this in every kind of office? To be honest with you I’ve been so afraid of backlash that I haven’t gone to HR and goodness knows around here they protect managment like the grail. I’ve set May or June 1 as my end date…less money or not and only because I have major programming that I’m spearheading. If I even think about leaving before then, I will be black-listed and trust me this woman will make certain of it.
She once told me it’s not how you come into a job…it’s how you leave……
Post # 8
Look for a new job. You deserve to be some where that you are happy and vauled as a good employee. I was working at a company and position that I hated. After I left I realized how toxic the situation was (horrible company and coworkers). I now work at a great company that treats the employees well and work with a great team. Looking back I wondered why I waiting so long to get the hell out of there! I bet if you start looking around you will find something even better!
Post # 9
@prplebutterfly: All you owe any employer is a two week notice. That’s standard procedure around the world and you do NOT have to tell them where you are going. You can tell them that are are going back to school to further your education. You do not have to allow people to make you feel less than or insecure. You can do it and you will be successful. Fix your resume, get a power suit, pull yourself together and get a new job ASAP. You will find yourself much more secure and stable when you leave that toxic place.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t leave one job without another ready to go, but start getting those resumes out there, give your 2 weeks and QUIT! I don’t stick around miserable jobs either, no one should.