(Closed) Help Bees- What Would You Do?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m confused–would you be watching the baby so your Future Sister-In-Law could do something else?  Does she need babysitting for work?

Post # 4
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is your Fiance expecting you to do the bulk of the babysitting “work” here?

If so, that’s something that I think you can step in and say you’re not comfortable with. But if he’s planning on doing it himself, with you just interacting with your nephew during family times like meals, I really think you should go ahead and let him do it. It’s one night, and it will mean a lot to your Fiance.

When I was a kid, I slept over at some relatives’ houses and not others. It really just had to do with who I was closest to. I enjoyed the childless aunts and uncles best, as I thought they were the cool ones.

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

In my family it’s pretty common for nieces and nephews to spend the night at grandparents/uncles or aunts houses.  If it’s your family what’s the big deal?   You’re helping them out a bit, giving them a break and somewhere down the line you two may need a break and someone can help out. 

I realize that technically it’s your FI’s family, but you’re marrying into the family.  He’s 8 anyway it will be fun. 

Post # 7
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s not too common in my family to have nieces and nephews spend the night but all of us would be all for it. I’m kind of hoping that when my 9 year old niece gets a bit older she can fly out and stay with us for a week or so. I love having them around. If I lived near them I’d be begging them to let the kids spend the night every once in awhile.

Post # 8
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I personally wouldn’t mind taking a nephew/niece overnight in general. My cousins and I were always sleeping at each other’s place and we loved it. I am just trying to inderstand why you seem so upset. Does your concern has any concrete basis or is it just that you don’t want to be responsible for FI’s nephew? Is your place big enough to accommodate an extra guest properly? Is it during a weekend or a holiday (so you don’t have to worry about bringing the kid to school)? Have you taken care of your nephew before without him staying overnight?

Post # 9
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have an eight year old half-sister who came to spend the night at my house once. Since I’m almost 18 years older than she, I’m more like a young aunt than a sister. She was SOOOO excited about sleeping over beforehand and had a great time. We went to get frozen yogurt and then we came back and watched TV that she normally doesn’t get to watch reality tv at home (we just watched Project Runway, nothing inappropriate), and she got to stay up a little later than she does at home. It was a treat for her, and it was nice for me to get more time to bond with her. If your Fiance is expecting you to do most of the work, then you have a right to say no. But if he is going to entertain his nephew and handle dinner, putting him to bed, etc. then I really think it’s unfair of you to not allow him this bonding opportunity. You say you want to find a compromise and I think that would be for you to say you are fine with him sleeping over, but you want your Fiance to do the work.

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

I spent the night at my grandparents quite often. I don’t see it as wierd or anything. I think its great that he would want his nephew to spend the night, it would be fun. I’m not sure how much trouble your going to have to go to to have him there. I’m sure your Fiance has games, he’ll bring toys, he’s 8 so he can take  himself to the bathroom and knows not to drink the stuff under the sink. All you have to do is feed him, make sure he brushes his teeth and your good to go. Kids are fun and the best part is you get to send him home the next day end of responsibility.

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t see what the big deal is.  An 8 year old isn’t going to be a lot of work to take care of for the night.  It’s just a fun sleepover.  My niece and nephew stay over at relative’s places on a regular basis.  They think it’s fun and it give my brother and SIL a break from their kids.

Post # 14
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh, okay, gotcha.

I hate to say it, but I side with your Fi on this one.  If this is something common in his family, and it’s something he wants to do, I think he should do it.  You can make your own plans and go out with the girls or do something fun on your own… would that help?

I’ve helped out my single mother sister by having my nephew overnight, but always at her house, giving Fi the night alone in our house.  Your Fi is doing something different, but you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to be.

Post # 15
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you are way over-reacting. This is your husband’s nephew and not some stranger, and it’s so not a big deal, I can’t even believe you are arguing about it.

Post # 16
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t see what the big deal is?  I think its adorable that your Fiance wants to spend some quality time with his nephew and I know when I was younger, I really looked up to my aunt and uncles and loved hanging out with them.   

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