Post # 1
Ok bees, desperately need your advice on this one! My boyfriend and I went ring shopping last week. We are leaving for our Mexico vacation in one week, and I know he is going to propose while we are there. Today was his day off, so I had a feeling he was buying it today. I came home from a long stressful day of work in a terrible mood. You know the kind where you are almost just waiting for a fight, and maybe even provoking it? Well, that was me, and I got upset when he showed me a picture of his coworkers. It was a picture of this weird guy he works with, trying to flirt or talk to this new (young blond) receptionist. They all give each other shit, so the pic wasn’t anything weird, only ammo to joke later. Well, I didn’t know of this new receptionist so I asked why he hadnt told me about her. My point was he tells me everything else about work, except when it comes to things I will get upset about or over react to. He is a very honest and loyal boyfriend, and we don’t have trust issues, but as I said, I was in the market for a fight.
He was pissed at the stupidity of my question, an I kept nagging and asking more questions and before you know it we are in a full blown screaming match with about 40 other irrelevant topics coming up. He was livid, and said I ruined this whole thing (engagement). I was like NOOOO, I’m so sorry, etc. I felt HORRIBLE! I apologized profusely because I knew I was in the wrong. He’s still pissed as we went to bed tonight, and we’ve not really talked.
My question is, have I ruined our future engagement? Did I forever scar the day he bought the ring and will he always remember we had this huge fight the day he bought the ring? I feel so bad, and he was visibly upset during all of this. His emotions were high from buying the ring, and I feel like I’ve ruined this whole thing!
Does anyone have any advice or suggestions or similar stories? I feel so bad and don’t know how to rectify the situation considering I’ve already tainted the day he bought the ring. 🙁
Post # 3
No you didn’t ruin your engagement. Most men aren’t going to remember the day they bought the ring they just remember the day they put it on your finger and the day you said I do. Fights happen…And they happen often, lol. He will come around just reassure him that you are sorry Then drop it. Most men hate when you dwell on something. Your trip is coming up soon and you guys are going to have a great time! It’s gonna be just fine.
Post # 4
Ouch! I got so sad reading this.
I’ve been there though, in a bad mood and looking to pick a fight. I get where you’re coming from.
Unforunately the day is tranished, accept that you made this mistake and you purposefully hurt him by looking for this fight and then getting it.
However, I do have some advice! My Fiance and I have a rule with each other that we’ve hurt one another in a fight we must always make it up to the other with cooking or giving food to one another. It really works, warm, yummy food to give to your partner is the best food.
One time Fiance lost his temper with me, made me so upset that I locked myself in my bedroom (this was years ago btw) and to make it up to me he put a bag of fast food in front of my door and he said a polite sorry through the door and walked off, I opened up the door, grabbed the food and ate it. While I was eating I calmed down, and was able to go outside and talk with him and make up with him.
Why not try doing this for your man? Either take him out for dinner/lunch or make him a meal. Tell him you’re sorry, but that you love him so much and that you’re ready to redeem yourself.
Post # 5
I don’t think one fight will make him not propose. The night before my husband proposed, I was upset with him because he told me he would’ve proposed before then. I didn’t know that he was planning to propose the next day. lol (We had been together for over 6 years at that point). I know so many people who have silly fights right before they get engaged and they are still happliy married.
Just explain to him that you were in a bad mood and you were wrong.
Post # 6
@JoJoDahling: that is the fricken cutest thing I’ve heard all day
Post # 7
No, it’s not ruined. Couples argue, it happens. Love is stronger than an argument.
Post # 8
i think he also was stressed about the situation (buying the ring is stressfull for a man too) and thats why he did not act like he wanted to calm you down.
I remember me and my fiancé had a couple of arguements as well (incl the weeks before the proposal) but we take them as an opportunity to understand each other better and to find way not to hurt each other anymore by taking good care of each other feelings
Post # 9
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. My fiance and I had had a stupid argument the morning before he proposed. Like we were barely not mad anymore…and he was like, tada! Lol. Part of being together is fighting. Of course, part of fighting with your chosen partner is knowing how to fight. My fiance and I have gotten pretty good at calming down while talking about the issue that made us mad.
Post # 10
Apologize. I’m sure you’ve argued before. The world didn’t end.
Post # 11
What can you do? I mean I’d be pissed too if I were him. But he’ll get over it, we all do.
In the future, when you’re pissed off about work, though, I would try not to be in the market for a fight with the person that loves you. You’re directing your anger in the wrong place, and it’s not fair to him.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
Advice? Make up and move on. Couples fight even when the timing is terrible. In a week when you go on vacation this will just be a memory and you will be looking forward to getting engaged.
Post # 13
The same thing happened to me! There was one day I was just pissy and Fiance didn’t say exactly what I wanted to hear at the time, and we got in a stupid squabble about nothing. He proposed a couple weeks later, and told me that that day we fought was the day he bought my ring, and during the argument he kept wanting to throw it in my face, “Why are you getting mad at me, I bought your engagement ring today!” lol. Now he just thinks it’s funny.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
No I’m sure you didn’t ruin the whole engagement process. Fights happen. But sheesh, for heaven’s sake, when you know he was probably buying you a ring that very day and you’re hopefully getting engaged in a week, try extra hard to be the kind of partner he wants to propose to! I would also make sure he knows you were apologizing because it really truly was your fault and you love him enough not to want to pick stupid fights – NOT because he said it ruined the whole engagement thing.
Have a great vacation!
Post # 15
Yeah – make up and move on. You only fight for things you care about. Meaning – you should fight in a healthy relationship. You’re different people, you’ll have bad days and differing opinions, and you need to work it out to keep your relationship going. Of course it shouldn’t always be screaming and dragging up old arguments – that’s not fighting fair. But air it out, work it out, apologize, and move in. You’ll be stronger for it and you certainly haven’t ruined anything. If he doesn’t propose over one fight – good!
Post # 16
No, you didn’t ruin it. Don’t worry!
You’ve already apologized and you’ll both move on from this soon. He will figure out the right moment he wants to make the proposal. He’ll choose a moment that will be special, he’ll propose, and believe me, that will be the moment you two will remember always.