Post # 16
OP — honestly, the last thing you need to be worrying about in this situation is getting a ring. You guys need to see a financial counselor to figure out your best course of action moving forward. Maybe he went into bankruptcy for medical reasons, or maybe it was frivilous spending. You need to figure out why. Hopefully he’s taking good steps to correct the situation, but telling him to finance a ring that neither of you can afford is a horrible idea. In my opinion, financing is something you do as a last resort, not just something to be done willy-nilly.
Post # 17
I think that if you guys are serious and are considering marriage you need to start talking about your finances. If it doesn’t work for you to have these conversations organically, there are lots of books out there that you could read and work through together. I wouldn’t leave someone over having skeletons in their financial closet. But I WOULD leave someone if they were unable to talk about it openly with me or if they didn’t learn from their experience.
Also, not to judge but…you should never finance an engagement ring or any other expense for a wedding. It’s not worth it. You can always forgo the ring all together or go for something less expensive (there are some EXCELLENT diamond alternatives…so good that even people who can afford a diamond choose to go the non-diamond route).
If you can’t pay cash, you can’t afford it! Don’t fool yourself by financing.