(Closed) HELP!!!! Bridal Party Dilemma

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I demote my MOH and promote my SIL
    Yes, demote your MOH and promote your SIL since she is playing the role : (1 votes)
    7 %
    No, leave well enough alone, your MOH may start assisting after the holidays : (7 votes)
    47 %
    Leave your MOH and add your SIL as the Matron-of-Honor : (7 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    46597 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @shaillo34:  I would leave things as is. You are in your 40’s and I would asume perfectly capable of making any necessary decisions. It’s a bonus that your SIL is able to go with you, but it should not count against your Maid/Matron of Honor that she is not.

    I suggest to you that asking your Maid/Matron of Honor to step down would cause irrevocable harm to your relationship. Is it really worth it?


    Post # 4
    4770 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MOH’s aren’t there to plan your wedding, they are there to stand up wfor you the day of.  I think you’re asking far too much of her.  It’s great that SIL wants to help out, but your wedding is your priority, no one else’s.

    Don’t damage your friendship becasue your Maid/Matron of Honor dosn’t want to go to every appointment with you Shesh!

    Post # 5
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think you shouldn’t expect so much from your Maid/Matron of Honor. You have a wedding planner and TWO MOHs, if one can’t make it to every little thing bc of a baby, demoting her is really hurtful and could ruin the friendship (if I were her and you demoted me, I likely wouldn’t come to your wedding and would consider the friendship over).

    I’m not of the mind that BMs and MOHs just have to show up and look pretty (if that), but I think in this case, where you have a wedding planner and have had 4 years to plan, and knowing she has a baby – you should just leave it alone.

    I want my closest friends standing next to me, not just the ones who were able to help with wedding planning, but who have been there for me in life and supported my relationship.

    Post # 6
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I agree with the rest of the posts you do having a wedding planner to help plan your wedding. This lady you talk highley of is obviously special to you but she will have alot on with a 1  year old and a child with special needs which is extremely hard family’s should always come first she might be struggling. Shes been there for you for the last 10 years and that should count not how many meetings shes attended with you.xx

    Post # 7
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @shaillo34:  I think the last idea is the best ever … b.c. its not nice to demote someone (could cause a rift later) and it works out so perfect they can both be honored but have different titles 


    and wow thank you i had not thought of that b4 … I have a cousin i love and am close to would like as a moh but my best friend is also dear to me i was her moh and i just want her to get to be for me too but this works my cousin is not married my bestie is so they can both be honored and i won’t have to pick 😀

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