- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
Hello fellow bees, I am in need of honest opinions and I apologize if it is long.
I have been with my Fiancé for 10 years and engaged for 4 (finally set a date). Since we finally set a date and are paying for the wedding ourselves (we are both in our 40’s) we are going all out. We decided to chose our bridal party and have asked everyone who would be a bridesmaid or groomsmen already. My dilemma is with one of my maid of honors (I have 2). Her and I have been best friends for 10 years and she is more like a sister than a friend. She is now in a relationship with an amazing man and just had her 2nd child at the age of 40 and I am so happy for her. I asked her earlier this summer if she thought she was still going to be able to be my maid of honor because she will have a 1 yr. old and a 13 year old who has significant special needs. I explained that I would support whatever decision she made, but didn’t want her to feel obligated to remain my maid of honor and the most important thing would be for her to be there on our special day to share with us. She said that she would still be able to be my maid of honor and once she had the baby she hoped that she would be able to help me out with planning, etc. The little man is here and is gorgeous and I have limited my contact with her because I know from experience how hard it is to start over with a new baby. She seems to have adjusted well and I will see her soon for her birthday and can’t wait to give her a big hug and tell her how proud of her I am. However, we are now in full planning mode and while we have hired a wedding planner, she is unable to go with me to meet with her and has been unable to go with me to try on dresses. On the other hand my sister-in-law (who is a bridesmaid and just married my brother this past September) has been there every step of the way and will go with us to meet the planner and see what we have chosen thus far. She also went with me dress shopping and has been amazing in assisting me with wedding planning and will call or text me to see how things are going. I’m wondering should I ask my best friend to step down or should I promote my sister-in-law to my Matron of Honor, or just leave everything as it is and consider my time with my sister-in-law as our bonding time? My SIL has been amazing and has already been asking me what I wanted to do for my bridal shower and bachelorette party.
HELP ME BEES, I’m torn. I love both women dearly and do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.