(Closed) Help! Bridal shower trouble

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1565 posts
Bumble bee

Well, weddings have been thrown together in a couple of months. But this doesn’t sound like one of those situations. I don’t think you should throw the shower as of now. If the wedding comes together, it seems like you are prepared enough to get the shower going on short notice. 

Also, who gave you the responsibility of throwing the shower? If her family doesn’t think there’ll be a wedding, I don’t think they’re expecting you to do anything. I would try to go through her mom and explain your situation to her? While you might feel uncomfortable talking to SIL, I think her mother could be straightforward with her and figure out what’s going on.  

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

What a pain..  So sorry.  Personally, since she seems to be flaking, and did so for your shower, I wouldn’t waste too much time stressing about this one.  (And your pregnant too.)  You could always make a plan to sned out the invitations the same time she sends out her invitations.  That way you’ll know when/if she’s serious.  It won’t give you as much time, but it’s a shower.  You don’t really need as much time.  Maybe ask her to let you know when she sends out her invitations because you’ll send the shower invitations at the same time. Can you have the shower at someone’s house?  Then maybe you don’t have to worry too much.  And perhaps keep it pretty small and just have it catered?

Also you could just have a chat with her saying that with the baby coming you just can’t swing it anymore.  You might want to just be honest with her and say that you don’t want to plan the wedding until you know she has made more concrete plans about getting married in March.   I don’t know if you feel comfortable having a heart to heart about the wedding and if she’s having cold feet.  But it might be helpful if she made her plans known to people.

But she’s the one who is dragging her feet.  Don’t feel bad about anything.


Good luck.

Post # 6
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Who throws a bridal shower when there’s no wedding? Tentative isn’t good enough. I can’t imagine why you would even go as far as you did based on a wedding whim. If and when plans are more concrete,then schedule a shower. Til then,I wouldn’t give it another thought.

Post # 7
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would wait until she sends out the wedding invites for sure.  If she is really having the wedding, she should be doing that soon so that people have enough time to respond.  Don’t stress about it, as long as the guests are local, you can throw together a shower in very little time.

Post # 8
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well, at this point it sounds like she’s set a date but it could actually change at any moment since she hasn’t done anything yet. And once she realizes it’s too hard to plan a wedding in that time frame, my money is on her pushing it back.

If I were you, I would wait until she starts finalizing things to think about the shower. You are prepared for it which is great, you are one step ahead. Check in with her every once in a while to see if progress is being made on the wedding plans, and once she has invitations printed with the date jump on putting together the shower.

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