Post # 1
I’m supposed to be throwing my sil’s bridal shower. Her wedding is March 13th and she’s been engaged for a little over 2 years. She has nothing done yet. Literally nothing. No place for the wedding, a maybe place for the reception but it’s not firm, no dress, flowers, food, decor, nothing.
No one in the family believes she is actually going to have a wedding. I don’t want to dissapoint her and just not do the bridal shower but you can’t have a shower without a wedding! I’m afraid no one will come even if I do it because they don’t think it’s going to happen either. It’s been discussed.
I’m also concerned because I was originally a bridesmaid but I’m due with my second daughter on March 22 and it looks like baby will be here before that. SIL was supposed to throw my shower 4 years ago and never followed through. I don’t want her to think I’m “getting even” for that if I don’t do the shower. It honestly has nothing to do with that at all. I don’t even care about that! I don’t want her to think I’m trying to bail on her!
What do I do? Should I tell her that I don’t feel comfortable throwing a shower when nothing has been done for the wedding? Just do the shower? I have the invites and a date, place, the food situation and a general plan for set up and decoration for the shower done already. ( I love planning and get right on it!) So far I’ve only spent the money on the invites, which is only about $5. I’m super crafty and made them so no big loss other than time.
Post # 3
Well, weddings have been thrown together in a couple of months. But this doesn’t sound like one of those situations. I don’t think you should throw the shower as of now. If the wedding comes together, it seems like you are prepared enough to get the shower going on short notice.
Also, who gave you the responsibility of throwing the shower? If her family doesn’t think there’ll be a wedding, I don’t think they’re expecting you to do anything. I would try to go through her mom and explain your situation to her? While you might feel uncomfortable talking to SIL, I think her mother could be straightforward with her and figure out what’s going on.
Post # 4
What a pain.. So sorry. Personally, since she seems to be flaking, and did so for your shower, I wouldn’t waste too much time stressing about this one. (And your pregnant too.) You could always make a plan to sned out the invitations the same time she sends out her invitations. That way you’ll know when/if she’s serious. It won’t give you as much time, but it’s a shower. You don’t really need as much time. Maybe ask her to let you know when she sends out her invitations because you’ll send the shower invitations at the same time. Can you have the shower at someone’s house? Then maybe you don’t have to worry too much. And perhaps keep it pretty small and just have it catered?
Also you could just have a chat with her saying that with the baby coming you just can’t swing it anymore. You might want to just be honest with her and say that you don’t want to plan the wedding until you know she has made more concrete plans about getting married in March. I don’t know if you feel comfortable having a heart to heart about the wedding and if she’s having cold feet. But it might be helpful if she made her plans known to people.
But she’s the one who is dragging her feet. Don’t feel bad about anything.
Post # 5
The plan for now is to have the shower at my house and then have snack foods. So it will be pretty easy to put together.
That’s a good idea on sending the shower invites at the same time as the wedding invites!
My Mother-In-Law doesn’t think I need to mess with doing the shower either. I just don’t want to hurt SIL’s feeling.
I guess I need to bite the bullet and explain to her that I don’t feel comfortable throwing a shower when the wedding is not a sure thing. I feel awful bringing it up even!
Post # 6
Who throws a bridal shower when there’s no wedding? Tentative isn’t good enough. I can’t imagine why you would even go as far as you did based on a wedding whim. If and when plans are more concrete,then schedule a shower. Til then,I wouldn’t give it another thought.
Post # 7
I would wait until she sends out the wedding invites for sure. If she is really having the wedding, she should be doing that soon so that people have enough time to respond. Don’t stress about it, as long as the guests are local, you can throw together a shower in very little time.
Post # 8
Well, at this point it sounds like she’s set a date but it could actually change at any moment since she hasn’t done anything yet. And once she realizes it’s too hard to plan a wedding in that time frame, my money is on her pushing it back.
If I were you, I would wait until she starts finalizing things to think about the shower. You are prepared for it which is great, you are one step ahead. Check in with her every once in a while to see if progress is being made on the wedding plans, and once she has invitations printed with the date jump on putting together the shower.