(Closed) Help! Bridal Shower troubles

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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MrsO04:  generally, you’re right.  People invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding.  There are exceptions to this – often co-workers will throw a shower with no expectation of an invite.

My concern is that friends of your mom would likely anticipate an invite.

Is there anyway you can talk to your mom or get your BMs to try and talk to her about reducing the guest list?

Post # 3
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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MrsO04:  You are correct that it is general etiquette. There are however, many exceptions where people happily attend a shower knowing they will not be invited to the wedding. My Mom’s friends hosted a shower for me in my old home town, as they wanted to celebrate with my Mom. All of these women had lived in the same neighbourhood for years and wateched us all grow up. 

My ex’s mother also hosted a shower to which she invited her close friends, family and church members, many of which were not invited to the wedding and knew that.

I think the difference also is that my Mom wasn’t hosting the shower. I know it has become more common for moms to do so, but it’s still not acceptable in my circle.

Post # 4
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

you’re right, it is typically expected that if you attend the shower then you attend the wedding. Maybe if your mom is extremely stubborn you can just have a little speech prepared. Sometimes I’ve been to showers where the bride takes a moment to say thank you to everyone and make a small speech. So maybe you can say something like, “it means so much to me that all of you are here today to celebrate my upcoming marriage. It makes me sad that due to the size of our venue we cannot have you all there that day. ..” so maybe it can be your disclaimer. 

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