Post # 1
My girlfriend who is getting married just sprung it on me that she wants to invite 40-50 people to her shower. She thought a relative was throwing a family shower but I guess she found out that they are not. Prior to this, I asked her what kind of shower she wanted, and she told me she wanted there to be a meal served. I am not rich by any means, I don’t really have the room but I have a friend with a clubhouse that I can use. Should I tell her I have a budget that I can’t go over? Should I just serve appetizers? Has anyone thrown a shower this big? Your help is appreciated!! Thank you!
Post # 3
I might not give her a final dollar amount but I would probably start asking her about her expectations about the size of the guest list.
Post # 4
You can just serve appetizers and still make it really classy. For that many people it sounds like something like that might be a more doable option
Post # 5
Definitely talk to her. I would ask if her mom or someone can contribute, because hosting a meal for 50 people is way above and beyond :(.
Post # 6
maybe order a bunch of those veggie delite pizzas and serve appetizers?
Post # 7
Appetizers are totally fine and punch/drinks/water etc! Just make the time of the shower at 2pm/3pm etc. This way your guests will know not to expect a big luncheon too. We did this for my sister’s bridal shower 5 years ago. She had a really large shower of about 70 or so guest which we held in the church she was getting married at. They had a beautiful meeting room w/floor to ceiling glass windows and a fire place and an ajoining kitchen. w/tables and chairs. There wasn’t a fee or anything to use the room since she was already a church member and getting married there.
Post # 8
I think a sit down dinner for 50 is a lot to ask of one person.
Is anyone else helping you host and pay for this event?
Post # 9
My opinion is that if you’re planning/financing the shower, then you get to decide the menu. You can only afford what you can afford. You can do a lot of hors d’ouevres instead of a full meal. A full meal is a lot to ask for for 50 people.
Post # 10
So far, no volunteers to help. I know her mom is not finacially able to contribute and it’s questionable about her other bridesmaids. I know she has high expectations but I cannot afford a huge affair on my own. Thanks for the advise so far!
Post # 11
you might do a brunch shower, you can serve muffins, maybe some chicken salad sandwiches, a mixed fruit compote. Juice and coffee or if you can, some mimosas. I don’t think you need to do an elaborate spread, simple is better.
Post # 12
You are throwing a party in her honor, she isn’t throwing the party. It is pretty presumptious of her to expect you to serve a meal. Go with what you can afford. An afternoon tea or cake/punch or mocktail party are perfectly fine.
Post # 13
Agreed. You can nicely inform her that, while you think having a full meal is a great idea, that you are unable to throw a dinner (or luncheon) for 50. You are throwing the shower for HER. That means that you get to decide the agenda. (And budget.)
She can help with (or sometimes decide) the guest list.
That said, you could also say, “I can afford lunch for x people. Otherwise, I’m going to have go with light appetizers.” If it’s not good enough for her, she can find someone else to throw it. (Maybe the relative found out what kind of shower she was expecting and backed out for that reason!)
Post # 14
For the two showers I threw, I ran the theme by them but otherwise the place, time, meal, and activities were all decided by me. Don’t worry about what she expects and just throw what you can.
Post # 15
Yeah, I would talk to your friend and tell her you’d still love to throw her a shower, but now that there are going to be the 50 extra people, you can’t throw a full meal. Leave it in her court to graciously accept that, or help you find someone else to chip in, if a full meal is reaaaaly that important to her.
Post # 16
I would tell her that you weren’t expecting that many people and just can’t afford to serve a meal. Maybe you can give her another option, a dessert shower or apps. If you don’t have it at a meal time, it shouldn’t be a big deal.