(Closed) Help-Bride wants huge shower!!

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I might not give her a final dollar amount but I would probably start asking her about her expectations about the size of the guest list.

Post # 4
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You can just serve appetizers and still make it really classy. For that many people it sounds like something like that might be a more doable option

Post # 5
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely talk to her. I would ask if her mom or someone can contribute, because hosting a meal for 50 people is way above and beyond :(.

Post # 6
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

maybe order a bunch of those veggie delite pizzas and serve appetizers?  

Post # 7
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Appetizers are totally fine and punch/drinks/water etc! Just make the time of the shower at 2pm/3pm etc. This way your guests will know not to expect a big luncheon too. We did this for my sister’s bridal shower 5 years ago. She had a really large shower of about 70 or so guest which we held in the church she was getting married at. They had a beautiful meeting room w/floor to ceiling glass windows and a fire place and an ajoining kitchen. w/tables and chairs. There wasn’t a fee or anything to use the room since she was already a church member and getting married there.

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think a sit down dinner for 50 is a lot to ask of one person.

Is anyone else helping you host and pay for this event?

Post # 9
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My opinion is that if you’re planning/financing the shower, then you get to decide the menu. You can only afford what you can afford. You can do a lot of hors d’ouevres instead of a full meal. A full meal is a lot to ask for for 50 people.

Post # 11
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you might do a brunch shower, you can serve muffins, maybe some chicken salad sandwiches, a mixed fruit compote. Juice and coffee or if you can, some mimosas. I don’t think you need to do an elaborate spread, simple is better.

Post # 12
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are throwing a party in her honor, she isn’t throwing the party. It is pretty presumptious of her to expect you to serve a meal.  Go with what you can afford.  An afternoon tea or cake/punch or mocktail party are perfectly fine.

Post # 13
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Agreed. You can nicely inform her that, while you think having a full meal is a great idea, that you are unable to throw a dinner (or luncheon) for 50. You are throwing the shower for HER. That means that you get to decide the agenda. (And budget.)

She can help with (or sometimes decide) the guest list.

That said, you could also say, “I can afford lunch for x people. Otherwise, I’m going to have go with light appetizers.” If it’s not good enough for her, she can find someone else to throw it. (Maybe the relative found out what kind of shower she was expecting and backed out for that reason!)

Post # 14
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

For the two showers I threw, I ran the theme by them but otherwise the place, time, meal, and activities were all decided by me.  Don’t worry about what she expects and just throw what you can. 

Post # 15
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yeah, I would talk to your friend and tell her you’d still love to throw her a shower, but now that there are going to be the 50 extra people, you can’t throw a full meal. Leave it in her court to graciously accept that, or help you find someone else to chip in, if a full meal is reaaaaly that important to her. 

Post # 16
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would tell her that you weren’t expecting that many people and just can’t afford to serve a meal. Maybe you can give her another option, a dessert shower or apps. If you don’t have it at a meal time, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

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