Post # 1
I have a slight dilemma on my hands… I cannot figure out who I want to have as my fifth and final bridesmaid. I could really use some unbiased opinions.
Lifelong Friend: I have known her since we were babies. I was engaged to be married before (2008) and she was my Maid/Matron of Honor. Since then she has gotten married and stayed living in her college city. About an hour and a half away. I try to get together with her a few times a year, but since my 21st birthday (6 years ago) she has only made the trek to me two MAYBE three times. I’m not sure if I can count on her to be able to “pitch in”.
Closest Friend: I have known her since seventh grade. We became extremely close after my previous broken engagement. I would consider her one of my best friends. Lately though, I again feel like I have been making all of the effort. When she finally came to visit this past weekend he explained why she’s been such a “flake” lately. Do I look past that? Will she flake out again?
Family: In the couple of years my cousin and I have become extremely close. She’s like a sister to me. She is even in a serious relationship with my future husband’s cousin. We joke that we are going to have “cousbands” LOL I would love to have her be a bridesmaid, but is that having too much family in the party? The other four are my Older Sister (MOH), Younger Sister, Future Sister-in-Law, and Etremely Close Friend.
Please help make my decision a little easier with your advice. THANKS!!
Post # 3
I voted family, I don’t know why except to me blood is thicker than water, I guess? The future could bring a lot with these two friends for the good and bad. I was able to have two cousins and a ton of friends, because sisters weren’t counted in the bridesmaid count since they wore dresses of their choice in a different color. I wish you could expand the bridal party and invite all three because it would be fun to have family and then three friends.
Post # 4
I think you should pick your cousin. From what you described with the other two girls it doesnt sound like you fully trust them. The only negative you had about your cousin is that it may be too many family members. Your bridesmaids are supposed to be the women and girls who love you and support you. Whether they are all family members or elementary school friends.
Post # 5
You should chose your cousin. I don’t think there is such a thing as “too much family”, its your family and its going to be your family for life. These friends sound like nice people, but are you still going to be talking to them in 20 years?
Post # 6
I voted for your cousin.
Based objectively on the things you wrote, it sounds like both of the other two could end up being lost friendships if you expect too much of them for the wedding. It doesn’t sound like they are all that great at following through in the first place and a wedding is a time where people REALLY either follow through or they completely fall flat, at least in my experience.
Family is family, always. I don’t believe it’s possible to have “too much family.” Just for example, DH’s side was his brother (best man), my two brothers (fbil) and his best friend.
Post # 7
I voted for family because from your post it sounded like you are now closest to your cousin. In the end, I believe blood is thicker than water. HTH.
Post # 8
Can you not just have the close friend and the cousin. It seems both mean a lot to you. My Fiance has more guy friends than me so he will have one extra attendent. It did not make any sense to eliminate one of them just to make the sides even.
Post # 9
I vote family – it seems to make it easier that way, and less offensive to the other two if you think they may be hurt by your decision.
Post # 10
Thank you for all of the input. The more I read, the more I realized that my cousin was the right choice. I officially asked her this weekend. Now all we have left to ask is my brother, and our mutual friend to be the other usher!