- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So… I got engaged in November of last year and immediately started thinking abotu who would be in my bridal party. I knew I wanted to keep it small and I also knew that my female family members would rather enjoy the wedding than be in the bridal party. So I turned to my friends and made a list. There were many but only two stood out. My best friends since the first grade: (lets call her…) C and my best friend from high school and through college: (….) K. They don’t particulary get along and my relationship with K had languished around the time of the engagement so I made the decision to ask C to be my Maid of Honor and decided to leave it there. C came for a visit, was very exicted about the wedding, about being the maid of honor, about wedding planning, and being the ONLY one in the bridal party. She then went back to her city of living and hasn’t really mentioned the wedding since………… I call her more than she calls me and when we do talk she NEVER brings up the wedding. We are less than 4 months out and she hasn’t mentioned a shower, she hasn’t asked to help with a SINGLE wedding detail, and she seems almost disinterested in the wedding. MEANWHILE, my relationship with K has grown strong and closer since my engagement. We hang out regulary, she ALWAYS asks about the wedding, and tells me that she would do anything to help. She even offered to shoot my wedding for free, as she is a professional wedding photographer. Her generosity and interest in my wedding has really touched me and I feel really compelled to make her a bridesmaid. She deserved it to begin with and now I feel like it’s time to right the mistake.
SO… HERE IS THE DILEMA. I didn’t ask K in the beginning because of weird feelings between her and C, weird feelings between her and my mom, and my desire to please everyone but myself. Now, I am trying to do right by my friend and right by me. I have bought a little gift and I am planning on aking K but I am LOST on how to tell C.
How can I tell C that I am adding K as a bridesmaid without hurting her feelings or admitting my (i hate to say it…) resitment that she has been an absent maid of honor? I know it is going to cause some bad feelings but how can I minimalize the hurt while still adding K?