Post # 1
I agreed to be in a girls wedding that I am not very close friends with! I don’t know what to do; if it is even an option to bow out now. She is getting married in August and I wish I had said no in the first place.
1. My wedding is two months before hers and I don’t have much extra time.
2. I don’t know if I can afford it ontop of being a newlywed.
3. We are not very close friends.
What do you think? Can I bow out? And how do I do it?
Post # 3
how long ago did she ask you? I would emphasize the cost, but be aware the might make her offer to pay. Would you accept that?
Post # 4
I would sit down with her and discuss that with your wedding comming up, you don’t think you’ll be able to afford the cost or have the time to fully commit as a bridesmaid to functions, parties, etc. what you feel is necessary to be a good bridesmaid.
Tell her you would be honored to be at her wedding but do not feel you can attend as her bridesmaid because you wouldn’t want to commit to something you know you won’t fully be able to commit your time to.
I would do this ASAP to give her time to invite someone else if she so choses to do and before she orders the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses,etc. As a bride to be, I would want to know if one of my bridesmaids wasn’t able to attend as my bridesmaid as soon as possible. I am sure with knowing that you are in the process of planning your wedding, honeymoon, ect. that she will understand.
Post # 5
The good thing is it’s in August so it’s not like you’re bailing out on her last minute. Having your wedding be close to the date, you’ll be so busy. I think it’ll be okay since you’re not that close to her.
You have all legit reasons that are totally understandable. Just be honest and let her know you’re willing to help her out in any way even if you’re not a bridesmaid. With your wedding coming up, you won’t have much time and budget to fulfill the bm’s duties. She has plenty of time to ask someone else if she chooses to.
Post # 6
August is a long time away. And anyway, it shouldn’t be hard to juggle the wedding party until after the dresses are ordered. I would just be honest with her – let her know (as luvbug says) that you were honored to be asked, but that you really didn’t think it through before you accepted, and now that you have you’re pretty sure that you really won’t have the time or the money (due to your own wedding) to be in her wedding party. And then let her know that you would of course be happy (as long as you actually would be happy) to help out as you can or be her wedding planning buddy, and to attend as a guest. As luvbug says, the sooner you get it done the better!
Post # 7
Thank you for all of your advice! It really means alot; I just hope she doesn’t get mad. But I figure if she is really a friend she’ll understand