(Closed) Help!! Bridesmaid malfunction!!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, that’s hard, but I would say that since you two drifted apart and family should come first, I would politely ask her to step down due to awkwardness. 

Post # 4
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ouch, that situation sucks.  I would wait a week or two and they may work things out, or if you KNOW that they will not, just talk to her.  I would explain that it is an uncomfortable situation for all of you and simply ask her to step down out of respect for you, your brother, and your family.  I would offer to pay for the dress she has already purchased and any other wedding expenses that she has laid out.  I am sure that she already understands that she will not be included in the wedding if the breakup was bad and she may be already expecting it.

Good luck.

Post # 5
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ohh that is a sticky situation! I would talk to your brother. If he is ok with it then i would keep her since she is your friend as well, but if he is not ok with the idea I would ask her to step down and explain why. Family always comes first for a lot of people and I think she will understand. Honestly, if I were her I would probably step down without you asking cause I would feel so awkward.

Post # 6
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

WoW! Tough situation! Do you still want her at the wedding (not as a BM) or do you not want her there at all?

If you still would like her there:

“I was hoping I could discuss something with you. You know that I think you’re great, but I think that you being a bridesmaid with everything that’s happened recently would make my brother really uncomfortable. I think it would be best if you attended the wedding as a guest and not as a bridesmaid.”

If not:

“So-and-so, I know that I asked you to be a bridesmaid, but because of what recently happened between you and my brother, I don’t think that you being at the wedding would be the best idea. There’s still a lot of hurt and anger between you guys, and as much as I’d like you to be there, I think that both of you being at the wedding would only fuel the fire. This is really nothing personal. I hope you understand that I need to be supportive of my brother right now.”

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