HELP! Bridesmaids don’t like dress color

posted 12 months ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I change the color?

    No, it's you're wedding! You already compromised a bit.

    Yes! (Explain Below)

    Other (Explain Below)

  • Post # 16
    Member
    4913 posts
    Honey bee

    I personally am not a fan of that pink.  I also am personally of the belief that people aren’t props.  So when you say that you always pictured pink in your wedding, you have all sorts of decor, floral, and table setting options to work pink into your wedding – not everything has to be pink.  I would prefer that the people I care about be comfortable and look their best.

    That said, it’s ultimately your call and they even said they understand it is your choice and will wear it.  You’re getting this information second-hand.  I hate to break to you, but a lot of people will probably talk behind your back about a lot of your choices.  Most people won’t bring it up to your face because it’s not that big of a deal and they don’t want to rain on your parade.  So you need to either suck it up and make decisions knowing they may not be popular with everyone and deal with that, or be willing to relinquish control and your vision.  No one can tell you which way – you gotta pick what is right for you.

    Post # 17
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee

    Sigh. I personally don’t understand the notion that you get to dress other people up like props or dolls.

    That being said, people will often put up with being treated in that way because it’s important to people they care about. If your sisters haven’t brought their distaste to your attention, then it seems like they are willing to go along with that. 

    You have to decide whether you care more about making your guests and family as comfortable and feeling beautiful  as they can be, or you care more about your aesthetic vision. It’s up to you. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee

    Pink is not even on the lists for the best colors for your skin tone.   The closest color is rose and that is for the cool tones.  I also  think pink is a very young color and looks especially bad on women over 40.    But, they didn’t complain to you and seem willing to wear it so unless you want to change it why would you?    People will talk behind your back, even people who love you.   I personally don’t think its always because they want to cut you down.   Maybe they just wanted to vent but love you and are willing to make you happy.   Maybe your mom should just keep these talks to herself.

     

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    854 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    It’s your wedding so the color is ultimately your decision. I’m in the same boat as everyone else and have definitely worn dresses as a bridesmaid that I hated but it’s not my day so I kept my mouth shut and only vented to my husband about it! Sounds like they were trying to only vent to your mom but your mom wasn’t able to keep her mouth shut. If that’s the color of your dreams then do it but if I’m being totally honest it reminds me of  Barbie. A bit of a more muted tone may be more flattering and age-appropriate for your older bridesmaids. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    3082 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    spallas14 :  My sister wasnt hot about the color.

    She is more of a “peach/nude” complexion as she stated to me. 

    Ok – thats nice, thanks for your input. Here is your burgundy dress LOL

    Also, my cousin was complaning about the style of the dress and how i needed to be “mindful of everyone wearing it” and she didnt want to “look fat” and just stressing me out with trying to find another style that everyone liked and felt comfortable in/came in the color i wanted – then she went to the dress shop and tried it on – she loved it. 

    All the complaining before she even tried on the dress. You are never going to make everyone happy. Just go with what you like, they can suck it up for a day. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee

    EThe whole “people aren’t props” thing some bees love to harp on is so irritating. No one said their friends/family were. That’s what happens when you’re a bridesmaid: the bride chooses a dress, you pay for it, you wear it, you shut up. I’ve never liked a single bridesmaid dress I’ve ever worn because they don’t align with my personal style. That said, I’ve never cared/complained/commented because guess what, no one was looking at me. Deny it all you want, but bridesmaids are accents to the bride and those are the facts. As such, they should wear whatever they are told or they can simply be a guest.

    OP, you heard they didn’t like it through the grapevine. They very well could have said that they didn’t like the color simply because that’s the truth. Not because they won’t wear it for you. As so many have said, your day, your decision. Have your dream wedding girl. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    2675 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    Totally agree with you, that phrase is one of the most annoying ones that get thrown around on this forum… 

    View original reply
    cq123 :  

    Post # 23
    Member
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I’m used to just sucking it up when I’m a bridesmaid. I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do? 

    Post # 24
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    If u love pink then go for it, personally I love pink and my sister hates it but when she was a bridesmaid in my wedding she wore hot pink for it.

    I was like u and thinking of changing the colour but then got told u love pink and will regret changing the colour and looking back at the photos I am so glad I stuck to it.

    in the end it is your wedding and your photos (will say it is easier if u buy the dresses which I did).

    Post # 25
    Member
    4913 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    lulubelle2017 :  Or maybe we’re just entering an era where people are just being more thoughtful and considerate and “sucking it up” isn’t the ideal we’re aiming for anymore.  I know I prefer to not think of my expensive event I’m asking people to take time out of their lives to attend as something to be “sucked up and endured”.  I want people to be comfortable and happy and enjoy themselves.

    Post # 26
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Pink as a colour is just one section of a whole spectrum made up of billions of colours – none of which are inherently ‘young’ or ‘old’ or ‘girly’ or ‘masculine’. These are all values we have assigned to them – and that is only culturally, as many cultures and peoples have developed different attitudes towards different colours. So whenever someone says ‘personally I hate pink’ just remember that that garbage is a value statement based on essentially meaningless personal preferences. 

    That was a roundabout way of saying being snobby about colour is pretty thoughtless, and if you like candy pink then maybe your bridesmaids (your family!) can wear that colour for a few hours one day in their lives. Because you’re family and they’re meant to care for you.

    I find it incredible that anyone would be so vain as to complain about having to wear a colour for a few hours – do they expect to only wear the very best every single day? I’m not sure that’s particularly realistic…

    Post # 27
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    Lol well I’m in the “people aren’t props” boat now after having been made a prop at the last wedding I was in. It was awful! The dress was hideous, the color looked terrible on my skintone, even the hair/makeup required by the bride looked horrible on me. I was soooo uncomfortable and just wanted to go home, I seriously don’t have a single happy memory of that wedding.

    So on the one hand, yeah sure it’s your wedding and they can deal with it, no hard feelings there. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t want my bridesmaids to be made to feel as uncomfortable as I felt. :/

    Post # 28
    Member
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    catt :  I don’t think people are just being vain when they say they don’t like a particular color.  Being a bridesmaid is expensive, and yeah, most of us know that going in, but it still isn’t an easy pill to swallow when you spend hundreds of dollars on a dress that is 1. not of your choosing, 2. a color that looks god awful on you, and 3. you’re likely never going to wear again. We’ve all done it, and most of us will continue to, but I do think the bride should be considerate when picking colors for the bridesmaids.

    OP, I’ve been in the position where the color of the bridesmaid dress looked awful on me.  But I kept my mouth shut because it was what the bride wanted.  It sounds like that’s what your sisters are doing.  No one said they wouldn’t wear the dress, just that they’re not crazy about the color.  So you have to decide which is more important – having the bridesmaids wear pink, or having them be happy.

    Post # 29
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    cq123 :  that’s not “what happens” when you are a bridesmaid. That’s what YOU chose to do to YOUR bridesmaids. It isn’t what I did to mine (I told them to wear whatever clothes they wanted in whatever color or shape made them feel beautiful, including clothes they already own, no need to match.) And that isn’t what was done to me when I’ve been a bridesmaid (my friends told me much the same). 

    Making people “suck things up” doesn’t seem to me like a very nice way to treat people you supposedly love.

    Its YOUR choice to treat people as props to your aesthetic vision, not a force of nature. It wasn’t always that way historically, it isn’t that way in every wedding now, and it doesn’t ha e to be that way. It depends on how you think about and value your friends and relations.

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    personaperson :  your wedding probably looked pretty terrible and mismatched, yikes!

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