HELP! Bridesmaids don’t like dress color

posted 12 months ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I change the color?

    No, it's you're wedding! You already compromised a bit.

    Yes! (Explain Below)

    Other (Explain Below)

  • Post # 32
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee

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    cq123 :  hah! You thought that was a great comeback?

    My wedding was gorgeous actually. People bring it up still as the loveliest they have seen. Mismatched doesn’t mean ugly (people haven’t color matcha-matched their shoes to their handbags since the fifties and yet they routinely look fantastic). I think my friends are beautiful and their styles gorgeous. Their choice of what to wear to my wedding reflected that and each looked wonderful.

    I’m sorry you think so little of your friends and family.

    And even If I somehow thought that would “look” better (and I don’t) I love my family and friends for themselves —- it’s why I wanted them to be in my wedding rather than hiring random models for the right “look.” But perhaps you should bump your best friend from the wedding party for a better looking stranger. You know, it’s all about the photos!

    Post # 33
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee

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    personaperson :  Of course your wedding was the most beautiful and “loveliest”! I would expect you to say nothing less lol continue to judge me and make assumptions without knowing anything about me, how I treat my friends and loved ones, and how I have approached my bridesmaids about what to wear. Your flawless mismatched wedding is one I can only dream of *sigh*

    Post # 34
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee

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    cq123 :  I’m literally just going off of what you said “thats what happens when you are a bridesmaid” when you responded to several people noting their discomfort with treating friends and family members as photo props.

    If you did not, in fact, tell your friends and family what to wear for the right “look” feel free to correct my misreading. No need to make mean (if hilariously false) assumptions about what my wedding or anybody else’s looked like.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1174 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    How about black or cream dresses with candy pink sashes and flowers? You still get your bright pop of pink; they get dresses they’ll wear again. 

    Keep in mind, candy pink is very much a girlish color. It’s very seldom flattering on more mature skin tones. You mentioned your sisters are significantly older than you, and if you’re a young bride you might not have fully considered the unpleasantness of feeling like “mutton dressed as lamb” in front of your whole family at an event where lots of photos will be taken.

    That said, they didn’t complain to you and it looks like they don’t plan to.

    Post # 36
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    Since they didn’t tell you directly, I wouldn’t worry about it. Like a previous poster said, generally there will be things about your wedding that people will talk about but won’t say to your face because they don’t want to be difficult or rude. This is just one of those things. If they were uncomfortable about how the dresses fit or if the color was one that made their skin look weird that’d be one thing, but just not caring for the color isn’t a big deal. I think it’s fine to keep it! 

    Post # 37
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee

    Pay up and shut up 🙄

    Dear bff,

    your ass better take me to a steak dinner, rub my feet, with a damn smile on your face for my up coming bday. Why cause I’m your friend and since it’s my bday, its my choice. (Totally being sarcastic).

    Post # 38
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee

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    ozbee : same! It’s not bad at all. If you like pink, it’s a nice pink I think. 

    Bee, it’s whatever you want. I feel like if it didn’t bother them enough to say something to you then you are fine. It’s your wedding after all! 

    Post # 39
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: London, UK

    I honestly do not understand how anyone can be so self-centered that they think it matters what colour dress they are wearing IN SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING. Do they honestly think that people are going to be looking at them all day????? 

    Rant part of my comment over. Stick with the colour, they don’t have to like it. They should love you and value your happiness more highly than they value their opinion on a colour.

    Post # 40
    Member
    5917 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    They should love you and value your happiness more highly than they value their opinion on a colour”

    That exact argument could be used in reverse though. 

     

    View original reply
    princessmiaofgenovia :  

    Post # 41
    Member
    5917 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    If I was a bridesmaid and didn’t like the dress or colour I probably wouldn’t say anything, but at the same time I don’t understand why people have to make their friends insecure and uncomfortable for their “dream”.  How much is the wedding really affected by bridesmaid dresses? It seems like some brides are so stuck on the mentality of this being their special day and they should always get what they want that they forget their friends and family have feelings. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: London, UK

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    zzar45 :  It could, but it’s not their wedding. Every single other day of their lives they can wear the exact outfit and colour they choose. This is one day when they could (and in my opinion, should) put their personal opinions of their own favourite colours aside and put someone else’s first.

    Post # 43
    Member
    5917 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    princessmiaofgenovia :  I guess I just don’t understand why anyone would actively want their friends or sisters to be awkward and unhappy in order to make their wedding a success. 

    I can’t imagine knowing someone I love feels insecure in something and demanding they wear it anway. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    725 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: London, UK

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    zzar45 :  It comes down to whether you would say anything. You posted above you wouldn’t, and I agree. I was a bridesmaid last year and I hated the dress and the colour, but it was for my best friend and she loved it. I wouldn’t have in a million years dreamed of saying anything to her about it. I hated the dress, but was very happy to wear it and to make the whole experience smooth for her. If I had said something, she would have changed it, and then I would have known she wasn’t going to get her original vision that she hoped for. So there was no way I would have done that for her for the sake of my own colour tastes. Originally I felt like it would be an awkward dress to wear, but ultimately I knew it wasn’t my wedding, everyone would be looking at the bride, not at me. No one except her and her immediate family would revisit the photos regularly, so what I wore that day was completely irrelevant to my life.

     

    Worth noting that I don’t think it is right to expect bridesmaids to wear a dress style they aren’t comfortable with. I don’t think it’s fair to make anyone show body parts they don’t want to show, or to highlight a part of their body that they are insecure about. But a colour is just a colour, and on the day of someone else’s wedding, I don’t think my personal preferences about colours are important.

    Post # 45
    Member
    355 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

    I’m in agreement with 

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    cq123 :  on this one. It’s your wedding and you should have it how you want! My girls are also wearing the same bridesmaid dresses in the same colour that I’d already pre picked for them all (MOH has a different neckline to be slight different). They all literally went in for sizing and then paid. If they didn’t like the colour or the style etc I would have spoken to them individually but this is what I want on my wedding day and as bridesmaids, they’re accomodating. If you don’t dig that mismatched/wear whatever that’s totally your right as a bride and in my opinion, you should 100% have it how you want for the day. When it’s their turn and if they ask you, I’m sure you’d extend the same respect. 

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