HELP! Bridesmaids don’t like dress color

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I change the color?
    No, it's you're wedding! You already compromised a bit. : (78 votes)
    78 %
    Yes! (Explain Below) : (16 votes)
    16 %
    Other (Explain Below) : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    As someone whose favorite color is pink, I think this particular shade will not be flattering to most women. Would you be willing to select a few different shades of pink, and give your sisters the option of choosing between them? This would allow you to maintain your vision for the wedding, the bridesmaids would still appear cohesive, but everyone would feel more comfortable. 

    I realize it’s your wedding, but personally I would still want everyone to feel their best as they’re essentially immortalized in photos.

    Post # 47
    Member
    1493 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would suck it up and buy the dress and then donate it after the wedding. How often do bridesmaids wear the dresses again when it’s a dress that someone else chose?

    It would of course be nice to wear a dress that I liked, but in this case the Bridesmaid or Best Man has not said anything.

    Post # 48
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I’m not a super fan of having to wear pink dresses either, but it will probably be fine and I think you can stick to your color.  The only thing I would caution is my best friend once had to wear a pink dress that was the EXACT color of her fair skin, so she looked basically naked and weird in every picture.  As long as no one has that problem, I don’t think it needs to be a big deal.  They’ll survive wearing a pink dress.

    Post # 49
    Member
    9773 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    They haven’t said anything to you so I would just leave it. Sounds like your mom should have kept her mouth shut and they were just venting a bit. I’d venture to guess that /most/ people don’t actually like bridesmaid dresses.

    Personally I think it’s an awkward color for anyone over like, 15, but they haven’t complained to you so I’d just go with what you want.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I hate pink.  I actually call that pink pepto bismal pink and I abhor it.  That being said if my sister asked me to be a bridesmaid and wear that awful color I’d suck it up and wear the pepto bismal dress for my sister cause I love her and I want her to have her day.

    Post # 51
    Member
    13237 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    In the US, the historical reason bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dresses is the assumption that they will have the dress to keep and wear again. Although the bride does have some discretion, she is also supposed to consult as to budget and style. For me, that would include an objection to colors they will never wear again. 

    As a bridesmaid, I’ve gone along more times than I can count. But as a bride, I would never impose a color that I already knew members of my party disliked.

    On another note, candy pink is not a universally flattering color on women of any age. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    It only takes a few minutes to read these boards and come to the realization that you’re never going to make everyone happy. Not everyone is going to get exactly what they want. You’ve compromised on the style and you’ve been conscious of budgets. Some  people won’t like the color. Some people will. For all that matters, some people won’t like your food. Some people won’t like your venue. Some people won’t like your DJ…And that’s ok. It’s your vision. It’s your money. It’s your day. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    1050 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    mamaofthree :  it’s the bridesmaids’ money too. They have to pay for it.

    Post # 54
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    cherryberrypie :  I understand that. That’s why I said she compromised on style and was budget conscious with the dress choices. Of course it’s important to try to be considerate…which is why it sounds like she has compromised already. She is spending thousands. They are buying one dress. If the color is important for her than she should go with it. She said two of the four don’t like it. It’s extremely hard to make everyone happy. Why not let the bride be the winner in this case?? 

    Post # 55
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - Green Bay, WI

    I also love pink and that candy pink is actually like the BEST color of pink. Like, that’s probably my favorite color. I had a lighter pink color for my wedding last month but that’s because it matched my rose gold color and turquoise color better. I didn’t give the bridesmaids a choice of color. They all ended up liking the dress they wore (as far as fit/comfort) but I have no idea what they thought of the color and I don’t care. It was my color and I loved it. 

    I’m in a wedding next year and the bride chose the color and said we could pick whatever dress in that color and she’s very easy going. But, she chose her colors and we respected that. I would normally never wear the color she chose (TMI, I sweat too easily and that color will likely show sweat marks) but I would never even think of asking her to change her colors. 

    The color scheme is a HUGE part of a wedding! Stick to your guns and YOUR choice.

    Post # 56
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    That is not a very attractive color for mature women.  I agree with going to multiple shades which are more in tune with the bridesmaid’s ages.  If you have younger bridesmaids let them wear the candy pink ( which I personally associate with a 5 yr old flower girl) and let the older women wear a shade that doesn’t scream I’m a pre teen.   

    Post # 57
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    I’m the kind of person that while I recognize I can’t make everyone happy, I try to go out of my way to be a considerate bride and friend. I felt very strongly about mauve as a color for my wedding, but recognizing it might not be everyone’s first choice I tried to give people as much choice as I can where I could – I picked a variety of different designers and shades for them to pick from and allowed them to choose their style. Would they have shut up and worn whatever I asked? Probably. But having been a bridesmaid a few times before I wanted them to feel considered and cared for. I wanted them to feel comfortable in pictures.

    It’s also quite frankly what I would expect in my circle of friends. The first wedding I was ever in were were given the exact dress (style and shade). I hated it, but at that time I thought that was what brides did. Since then the colors have been neutral and flattering and I’ve gotten a choice of dress. It made me much more confident to stand up in pictures and enjoy the day.

    Post # 58
    Member
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m close to your sisters’ age and that’s not a color I would personally want to wear.  It’s not going to be flattering to many skin tones plus the color does read fairly sweet-and-juvenile to me.  

    I’m another bee who doesn’t understand the desire to make your nearest/dearest dress up in identical dresses to serve as props.  (Ultimately, we decided against having a bridal party, but if we had, we would have simply asked our BMs to wear a black cocktail dress with whatever shoes they wanted.)  

    Most weddings I’ve been in, the BMs have been given some degree of choice when it comes to color and/or style. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    My little sister is 15 years younger than me. I would do anything for that girl, and I would wear any color for that girl, especially on her wedding day. I might complain to my husband if I hate the color, but I would never tell her. If your sisters are saying it’s fine, then trust them. I’ve worn dresses and colors I was not a fan of because I’ve loved all those brides, and their happiness and stress free planning was way more important to me than a color. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It really bothers me to hear how many women ‘hate pink’. Why? It’s just a color. I rarely hear anyone say they hate blue or green. I’m sure some people really don’t like the color, but you have to admit there is something about pink that creates a visceral reaction in some women. Too many women ascribe pink to ‘traditional feminimity’ and feel they are taking a stand against it. Well, to do so is to make the statement that there is something inherently wrong with being ‘feminine’. There is nothing wrong with being girly. Girly is not less worthy of respect. It’s important to support all types of women, and a woman who doesn’t feel girly at all is just as great as someone who does. Women ought to be embracing pink as a spectrum of womanhood, not fighting against it. 

    There is no color unflattering to women of a ‘certain age’. That’s just ridiculous. You can wear any color you want regardless of how old you are, and the idea that 40 means you are incapable of wearing any kind of color is just laughable – and pretty offensive, actually. 

    The color OP is considering doesn’t really matter. What matters is can a bride expect her bridesmaids to wear her color for her wedding, even if they personally don’t like it. The answer is yes, because it is her wedding, and that’s the tradition. If she doesn’t want to adhere to tradition, great…but if she does, that’s great too. It’s her wedding. 

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