(Closed) HELP!! Bridesmaids problems!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh, come on now. I’m sure they are just as excited about their futures as you are about your own! I know it feels like they are stealing your spotlight, but I imagine that they are just trying to partake in your excitement by showing some of their own. It sounds like its a big time in their lives too, even though you feel like it is your time. I would just try to share in their excitement a bit more, and maybe they will start to share in yours, as well. 

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

U said “2 of my bridesmaids”…. Do u have more? Maybe one with less going on will help u enjoy your experience more. All my bms live pretty far away so I’m not having all the wonderful moments with them I had hoped for. My mom is making an excellent fill-in for all the decision making.

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve said the same thing on similar posts, but it sounds like normal girl talk to me. I do the same thing to my friends, and they do the same to me. Maybe, next time they bring up their wedding, say “What are you thinking for XYZ?”. Then, be a good friend and listen to her answer, and she’ll probably want to hear what you’re doing for XYZ, too.

And, FWIW, your weddings are really far apart, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 7
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

It sounds like they might be a taaaaad jelly.

 

But, I can say that since I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man I’ve thought more about my own wedding than ever before, and it isn’t because I’m trying to take the spotlight from my bride, it’s just interesting! I’m not getting married anytime soon, fyi.

 

You see it as “I’m getting married, they aren’t engaged.”

They might see it as “We’re all getting married! WE CAN TALK WEDDING.”

Post # 9
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

That is pretty awkward. You know what I’d honestly suggest?

Just diverting some of the attention to them. If they ask about anything specific then give them something vague and then turn it on them. Clearly they like talking about their weddings, and that way they won’t grab your ideas. Honestly though, they could do it anyway after being in your wedding.

Sorry they might not be people to talk wedding specifics with, but at least they are enthusiastic about the topic!

I also doubt strongly that once she’s in the fray of planning she’d take your same dress. She’ll want to do the experience and most likely will end up with something entirely different she falls in love with. Other than that, take it as a compliment!

Post # 11
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

I see entirely too many posts abotu MIA bridesmaids, so you’re pretty fortunate to have them almost too involved in the world of wedding! I think it just needs to be a ‘water off a duck’s back’ thing.

Post # 12
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would be annoyed if one of them asked if she could have the same dress, especially if she was planning to get married BEFORE me. Then it would look like I copied her …so I am surprised she asked that. I would tell her, “yes I do mind…you’re getting married before me but it was kind of my idea first so I’d really like it to stay unique to me..”

Outside of that, yeah I think they could be more attentive to you….but they are clearly excited, and that’s normal. Having a ring shouldn’t make a difference really. If each has found the man of her dreams and is sure she wants to marry him, they have every right to talk about wedding stuff too, ring or not.

Post # 13
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

well hunn, in my opinion those are not good friends…A good friend listen and share thoughts, and they shouldn’t be planning without even being engaged. If i were you i would give them a call and be like ” Hi, i’m just calling to clarify that you will be one of my bridesmaids, because i have plans i want to share with you but it seems like you are very excited and happy to plan your own wedding, but i would just like to make sure you are involved in my wedding planning and listen to the ideas that i have, and then we can sit and talk about your wedding planning..” i don’t know everyone here is being too nice saying, is fine and they are just excited, but to me that’s kind of rude….but then again what do you feel is right, call them and let them know what you feel.

Post # 15
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@hannahmarie:  Any time hunn, anything to help i’m here  🙂

Post # 16
Member
8437 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly attacking them (I mean talking to them) about their lack of percieved interest in your wedding will just make you seem like a selfish bridezilla. They are excited. You are not inside their relationships- they may have had in depth talks with their partners about getting married in April and their BF’s maybe saving for/finding the perfect ring to propose with.

I knew ages before my hubby offically proposed that he was going to do it (silly bugger left our home number for the jeweller and they left a message saying the ring was in) and you can bet your bottom dollar that I told my mum and bff and started wildly planning.

Basically they don’t have to be involved in planning your wedding (that is your Fiance and your job and a wedding planner if you have one), it is nice if they are interested but if they are not well you just have to move on as you can’t make them be interested. Though from your post it doesn’t seem that they aren’t interested just that they are talking about their weddings too. Be happy for them and remember that you aren’t the only persn getting married.

As for the dress- are we talking wedding dresses? or Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses?

 

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