Post # 1
Hey hive, I need some help!!
We are strictly limited to 100 guests at our weddinghowever the venue actually prefers around 80 so we are really tight with guests.
I have quite a large family (aunts / uncles etc) that I rarely see year to year.
To be honest I don’t really care about havingthem there but don’t want to cause any family drama by not inviting them. (we could cut the guest list by 20 people)
Is it acceptable to include 2 RSVP’s with the invitation? Something along the lines of…….
__ yes we would love to come
__ sorry we can’t make it
__ we can join you for evening reception??
Obviously I would need to think about exact wording but is this rude? I know I have some elderly family who would love the option of only coming to an evening reception, I’m in the uk and our weddings and receptions can last all day and night!!
Any thoughts & advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
Post # 3
Im confused? Are you limited to 100 or not? and is it the ceremony or the reception site that has the limit?
Personally I would either find a venue that fit my guestlist or limit my guestlist if I wouldn’t budge on the venue. Alternatively I would have a private intimate ceremony (just immediate family) and then the reception.
Post # 4
I know that, in the UK, it is more acceptable to only invite some people to some parts of the wedding. You still risk having people check off that they are attending and not enough people saying they’re only coming for the reception.
Post # 5
This could backfire if too many people decide they want to attend both.
Post # 6
@misslmc60: Honestly, I am confused on what the options are. is the last option that they would only attend reception, no ceremony? If so, say something like:
“Attending reception only”
Post # 7
I’m not sure what you’re trying to do here.
If you are having two receptions, and inviting everyone to both, I don’t see an issue, but it could backfire if everyone responds yes to both. It might be best to cut the guest list to what you can afford and accommodate at the venue.
If you are inviting some to one portion, and some to another, that is called a tiered reception and is rude. Weddings are an all or nothing event – you either invite someone to all the events (ceremony, reception, after-party) or none of them.
Post # 8
Like everyone else, I’m a little confused by what you’re asking – are you saying that your ceremony venue has a limit of 80? In that case, perhaps just have the ceremony with only your immediate families and wedding party, and invite everyone to the reception?
Post # 9
Yeah this is something that’s never done in the US, so you’re going to get a lot of confusion from American brides. From what you said, though, it sounds like it might be something that is perfectly acceptable/ expected in the UK.
Post # 10
I think I would do something like:
I will be attending the…
[ ] Ceremony and reception
[ ] Reception only
[ ] Unfortunately I am unable to attend. (We’ll miss you!)
There is still the concern the previous poster mentioned about too many people RSVPing yes to the ceremony, so you might want to consider sending out your invites in batches, starting with the people closest to you, until the ceremony is full, and then sending out the rest as invites to the reception only.
Post # 11
@misslmc60: we did two invites. those for th epeople we wanted at the full event, and for those that were invited to the dinner and dance only.
Post # 12
@W292737: That is considered rude in the US.
“Im confused? Are you limited to 100 or not? and is it the ceremony or the reception site that has the limit?
Personally I would either find a venue that fit my guestlist or limit my guestlist if I wouldn’t budge on the venue. Alternatively I would have a private intimate ceremony (just immediate family) and then the reception.”
This, what she said.
Post # 13
@cmsciulli: umm I don’t think one set of people get to decide what is rude in the US or not. In my circle of friends, family, and where I live it is NOT rude and is very common. let’s try to not make broad assumptions.
Post # 14
@W292737: It sounded like a tiered reception, which is considered rude for the most part. May not be within your circle, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t considered rude outside of that circle.
ETA: Fixed a typo.
Post # 15
Hey luv i personally think that if they are not on the list of 100 guest that you already have then they dont need an invite or an option. If a 100 ppl is all you have to work with then 100 ppl is who gets an invite. if all 100 respond yes then ther is no worries if 80 says yes then even better. Plz dont put your self through uneccessary stress, if they didnt make the top 100 then their out period.