(Closed) help! canceling vendor at last minute and feel HORRIBLE

posted 9 years ago in Money
  • poll: is it always wrong to cancel a vendor at the last minute?
    yes, you are taking money and time away from them in terms of missed opportunities and planning : (0 votes)
    no, as long as you honor the contract and pay the deposit and other fees : (33 votes)
    100 %
    other option...read my post below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Thats what the deposit is for you are allowed to back out and you are being nice by covering her flight! I think that you are handling well – of course she will be upset but a professional would not show you that she was upset!

    I am glad you are getting the photographer of your dreams!

    Post # 4
    469 posts
    Helper bee

    I completely agree! I would rather you hurt her feelings now (which is not professional of her to show you) rather than you being on WB in two months upset by bad photos you can’t redo!

    I think you made the right choice and she will get over it! You’re being kind by covering her flight. Also, if you are willing to be out $750 you KNOW you made the right choice. That is a large sum of money and if its worth it for you I say GO for it. My Fiance teased me cause I met with 8 photographers and was a giddy girl when I found ours. Its VERY important! Congrats on finding your dreams!

    Post # 5
    2030 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    No, no, NO you should not be made to feel guilty about this. She is supposed to work for you, not the other way around. You made a business decision. You hired her to do something, she was unable to do it in a professional manner, so you let her go per the terms of her own contract. She needs to understand that cancellations happen – that is what the contract is for! You might be the first bride to cancel her but surely you will not be the last. Her attitude now should only confirm that you did the right thing.

    Post # 6
    10218 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I agree with everyone else. You MUST be comfortable with the professionals that you hired for your day.

    As a wedding professional, I would probably be hurt too (we’re only human), but more importantly I would want you to have the best wedding ever and that is all that I would want, I wouldn’t want you to be unhappy that I was there, if that makes sense.  Also, I may ask what made you change your mind just so I could rework my strategy for future bridal appointments, or if it was simply a personality difference.

    The reason we have non-refundable deposits is to cover our time and possible arrangements just in case you cancel, etc. and I also feel that you were very kind in reimbursing her ticket.

    Post # 7
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    You’ve definitely done the right thing!  In my post-wedding wisdom (hee hee), the biggest piece of advice I’d give to anyone pre-wedding is to trust their gut when it comes to vendors.  If someone seems less than enthusiastic about your wedding day, isn’t giving you what you want, or seems unresponsive, odds are you’ll be unhappy with their service on the day of.  This was true across the board for me — the vendors who were great to work with before the wedding did a great job at the wedding, and the one who was less than ideal before the wedding also screwed up on the big day.

    She keeps the deposit, you paid for her flight — I’d say you’ve abided by the terms of your contract and you have nothing to feel guilty about.  I understand why her feelings might be hurt, but this isn’t personal, it’s business.  You could offer to explain your decision more fully if she’d like, but really, your conscience should be clear.  Have a fantastic wedding (and in Princeton!!  I’m in Princeton too!  Where is the wedding?).

    Post # 8
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    As long as you paid all fees that you are supposed to pay I certainly wouldn’t feel guilty.  Maybe she’ll learn a lesson about being more responsive because of this.

    Post # 9
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I agree with everyone. Thats exactly what the deposit is for… for reserving her time.  Trust your gut! (but not your guilt!)

    Post # 10
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Honestly, the ONE thing you should be abolutely certain about is your photographer! Those pictures will last a lifetime, and if you’re not completely happy with them, you could regret it forever. Whereas the cake, the flowers, etc. don’t really matter as much.

    If you weren’t happy with you, you needed to switch. I’m surprised she gets business as it is with that attitude anyway. We e-mail a LOT with our photographer and she’s always very responsive and helpful.

    I think you made the right choice.

    Post # 11
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Guilt stinks! I agree with everyone else that you’ve done the right thing, and you’re being fair to her by paying her the deposit and the ticket. Since you say this did “come out of nowhere,” though, I would be sure to send her clear reasons why you decided to go with someone else. This doesn’t need to be nasty or emotional, but hopefully some good constructive criticism will help her develop in her career.

    Good luck! 

    Post # 12
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    She was being unresponsive for quite awhile, so this is not out of left field by any stretch of the imagination. Don’t feel bad for cancelling. She wasn’t listening to what you wanted, and therefore wasn’t going to give you what you wanted on your wedding day. Don’t feel guilty about it!

    Post # 14
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    She is being unprofessional in every way. She wasn’t responsive to you while she was in your employ, and now that you’re firing her she is acting like a baby instead of a mature adult. You have more than fulfilled your financial obligation to her by having paid the deposit and plane fare. The complaint that she turned down business because she booked you is not a valid one. What was she going to do, double book? If she is so worried about this, she needs to rewrite her contracts so that she requires full payment upfront, no refunds (not that anyone sane would go for that, but still). This is not your fault, you are not breaking any rules or ethical codes. I am glad you’re going with the photog you really want!

    Post # 15
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Tell her why you don’t want her to be your photographer! Seriously, maybe hearing about her lack of professionalism (omg have you READ my posts about my photog?) will help her figure it out so she doesn’t have this problem anymore. See, you’re bieng helpful =]

    Post # 16
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    If the contract involves anything about a spirit of cooperation, her unresponsiveness violated her own contract (in which case you should even get your deposit back).  You shouldn’t feel guilty at all.

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