Post # 17
OP – nope, you got it straight, and these whackadoos are just that. if you still feel the need to try to give her a calm, rational explanation, i’m not going to tell you not to. BUT you should keep in mind that these are obviously not rational adults here, and your explaination might not be very well received. i would also close the explanation with a FURTHER explanation that any further attempt to contact you will result in their prompt deletion from your life and the precious cat’s life as well.
soooooo glad you got your furball back.
zippy indeed! “dear crazy bitch…” awesome. +1
THIS, also. you have a good head on your shoulders, girlfriend. i’ve never seen you give anything other than great advice.
Post # 18
@frustrated:Just wanted to say, don’t let that email fool you into thinking that you were wrong and that what they did was not totally insane and irrational. That email sounds like they’re insinuatuing that they were sooo level-headed and nothing they did was wrong/cuckoo. They’re trying to make it seem like you were the one who acted rude and crazy. Don’t fall for it! Don’t reply! lol
Post # 19
I think she is completely crazy! It’s not like you don’t know how to take care of a cat since you’ve obvoiusly been in care of it for 5 years. If they don’t like how you take care of your cat oh well! It’s your cat not theirs. It’s like someone trying to tell another person how to parent their children…. you don’t live with them so but out!
Post # 20
Your friend is ridiculous. They are manipulating you by telling you it’s not too much to ask of you to allow them to keep the cat longer so the wife can say a proper good-bye. It’s your cat. Yes, they took care of the cat for you, but you also offered to reimburse them. It is not their cat. They get ZERO say in when you pick the cat up and for them to try and guilt you or make you feel like bad pet owners is weird and freaky on their part.
Post # 21
Why are you trying to reason with a clearly crazy person? Let it go. No amount of rational thought is going to make a dent in what they believe. Fuck them.
Post # 22
this woman is bat shit crazy and you need to cut her out of your life and be done with it, The crazy is not going to stop you need to not pick up the phone not email back and I really hope she does not know where you live
Post # 23
Your friend is crazy. She might have been a good friend at some point in the past but she is nuts, get your cat and run.
Post # 24
Why is she still talking about the cat? Does she have a job? Or is she a full time pain in the arse?
Honestly, I hate it when people do this. She obviously knows she must have done something wrong by acknowledging that your behaviour was unfriendly…justifiably so.
E mail her back and very firmly tell her to stop being a hypocrite. You partner could have done with this cat info when she dumped the cat on him years ago, but he managed not to bombard her with e mails, letters and sit down chats about it months after. Be polite, tell her you are sincerely grateful for her caring for your cat but, that she has insulted you and your husband in a number of ways, that her and her husband’s behaviour was aggressive, whether or not she realises this and that she needs to STOP now or she will ruin any future friendship.
You’re wondering if you’re wrong now because you’re a good person. Don’t fall for it. She needs another hobby.
Post # 25
Option A) Personally I would forward the email that her husband sent you and state that his email is what caused your hurt and confusion in the first place when everything was previously arranged. Since he was such a jerk let him take the heat. I would also make sure that she knew he refused to let you take your cat because she would be angry with him. Put the blame on his shoulders for the confusion. It would be real easy for him to twist what happened when he spoke with her.
Option B) Send a polite thank you for your concern email again asking for the vet amount and leave it at that. Send the check in the mail.
Option C) Ignore the email and wait for the next one. This woman will not besatisfied until she feels that you understand completely what you have caused her.
Post # 27
I agree with all the PPs, especially @bklynbridetobe
–you can’t reason with a crazy person. See how she’s already made you second-guess yourself!
Also, did you notice how she slipped in the end, “hope YourCat is settling into his NEW home”?!?!?! She clearly thinks that she deserves the cat more than you (even tho she a. abandoned it years ago and b. is nuts) and I suspect that’s where all this is coming from.
Post # 28
The part of her letter I bolded above is what upsets me now. Because i NEVER said I was unwilling to sit down with them. As weird as we thought they were for it, we of course were willing to sit down with them – but we didn’t feel that should mean we cannot take our cat home until we do! That is why WE felt insulted and felt that they implied my DH and I cannot care our cat! Am i wrong to feel or interpret things this way??! Tell me honestly please!
Also, when i left home last friday, i was under the impression i was picking up my cat that weekend! Because we had SPOKEN on the phone the week before and decided as such with her! So, ya, I was quite surprised to receive the first email from her husband on Friday afternoon. His email was polite, albeit strange, to us. And so i wrote back in a very polite manner that explained why we still had to take the cat this weekend and this was a big part of what i wrote:
This is what you need to say to her!! Tell her that YOU were put off by HER behavior, and that she made you very uncomfortable and that your husband doesn’t know how to take care of his cat. ALso, make sure to mention that what she wrote is all NORMAL behavior for the cat, don’t forget he’s been yours for 5 YEARS!!! Maybe even remind her how her behavior was before she became your husband’s cat.
Then, push send and never speak to her again
Post # 29
I agree. I think in her mind, she was planning on keeping the cat all along, and that’s why it escalated to this level.
Post # 30
thanks again for all the replies.
not to defend her or anything, but her comment about my cat’s “new” home is actually correct, since my DH and i just moved into a new place in a new city.
However, i was reading thru her letter again today and i can see how she really is treating the cat as though the cat is a human child, and its very weird. I think they need to have real children of their own so they can perhaps learn the difference! In her 3 page letter, about 3/4 of a page is devoted to how my cat interacted with her other pets and in her home in general. The things she told me could/should have been cute stories for when we see each other next. But she typed it up like it was crucial information we needed to have before we can bring our cat home! She even prefaced the section with this:
**EDIT, I AM DELETING WHAT I COPIED FROM HER LETTER HERE NAD PARAPHRASING TO HELP ENSURE PRIVACY*** ALTHOUGH I HAVE 4 MINUTES LEFT TO EDIT, SO I WILL DO IT IN A NEW COMMENT ON PAGE 2 – SHOULD FALL AFTER COMMENT 55 OR 56.***
i see she is overly humanizing the cat, as she believes our cat was making conscious decisions after weighing the pros and cons. Maybe i am not giving the cat enough credit or something, but i didn’t think cats had that ability for higher order thinking! PLEASE correct me if i am wrong!
Post # 31
thanks. i do plan to get around to writing her an email to that effect, and I will include the thing’s that Storm0075
suggested I include about her husband blatantly refusing to give me the cat primarily because he was afraid of his wife!