(Closed) Help: cat vs. stepdaughter

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 45
Member
6674 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Kannon:  Disagree simply because it is literally MILs house, whether she lives there or not.  Cat dander gets into every crevice, every vent and is very difficult to get out.  She should be able to enter any building she owns on her own property. My husband’s allergies started all over again when we moved into a cat owner’s house (he’s not so bad and had adjusted to mine, thank goodness).  

However I do not wish to derail this particular thread any further.  I think we’re all in agreement in this situation, at least!

Post # 46
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Agree with all PP that this is a ridiculous question (and I also have and LOVE my cat). Just wanted to point out that you went anon for a reason – you knew exactly what the answers/backlash were going to be, or you would’ve have gone anon. So I think deep down you know the answer. And you know it’s an easy one. 

Post # 47
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

mrsanonkitty:  I have some more promising news. I am highly allergic to cats. I mean when I took allergy test in dr office the cat shot blew up to the size of a silver dollar! Have been all my life.. Then through circumstances I got a cat and I’d come home every night from work and within 5 min my eyes were swelled shut! I lived on Benadryl was was preparing to get rid of my baby kitten.

 

a friend at work told me to tough it out for a month. Don’t use products like allerpet  just keep taking Benadryl. Indid and guess what?? I got used to my cats dander and  hay fever went away. Had the cat for 17 years! I did have to keep God on vacuuming and changing the air conditioning filter but I basically got over my allergy to that specific cat.

when that cat died.  I got two new kittens. Same thing but I stuck it our for 3 weeks this time and now I’ve had the two cats for 3 years.

yiur step daughter will develop an immunity to yiur cats dander. But you need to be willing to let it happen. In my experience it’s only taken abiut a month.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  lolakitten.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  lolakitten.
  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  lolakitten.
Post # 48
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve been allergic to dogs and cats my whole life and it’s gotten progressively worse as the years went by (and I haven’t avoided exposure, my parents have had dogs since I was 5 and with the exception of a couple years I lived there until I finished college–I stayed in my room a lot and the dogs were not allowed upstairs).  I’ve tried allergy shots and the side effects were terrible–it felt like something was crawling under my skin and making it itch and my eyelashes even fell out.  Allergies are AWFUL, anyone who tells you otherwise has never had bad allergies.  Please don’t put your stepdaughter through that and just send the cat somewhere else.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  shesho.
Post # 49
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

mrsanonkitty:  I’d get rid of the cat, people come before animals!

Post # 51
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I feel like the people who are saying that you can just get used to the cat and your allergies will go away never really had bad allergies that they were tested for.  I have a lot of allergies, and have frequented doctors to find out what all my triggers are and how to deal with them.  Cats are terrible.  All of my friends have cats and whenever I visit their houses my eyes water and swell, and I sneeze.  You can’t keep your daughter living this way.  I feel terrible for her.  If you could easily block off a few rooms for the cat, and put up a lot of air purifiers with great hepa filters, that might be an option, but your daughter’s allergies might be too bad for even that- I know I would be suffering still.  You need to get rid of the cat.

Post # 52
Member
888 posts
Busy bee

Ask yourself this: If you and your hubby fell pregnant tomorrow and had a child who was allergic what would you do? His daughter should be given the exact same consideration as if she were your own. What if god forbid something happened to your step daughters mother one day, that role would become solely yours and your actions would need to take her into complete consideration.

In your position I would try to rehome the kitty with someone I know so that I can still have it in my life but I would definitly but I would definitly put my step daughter first.

Post # 53
Hostess
8826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

lahela017:  You can grow in and out of allergies. I was allergic to peanuts (tested) and then grew out of it. Was ok to eat other nuts and then in my late 20’s developed an allergy to hazlenuts (also, tested by the Dr).

 

People can grow in and out of bad allergies. Who knows if OP’s SD would. My ex was allergic to cats, we moved intogether and he grew to tollerate them, we lived together fine for a couple of years, we broke up and about a year later he came round to my new place as he wanted to see the kitties and was super allergic.

Post # 54
Hostess
8826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

mrsanonkitty:  Big big hugs to you. What a crappy situation for all involved. x

Post # 55
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Have you tried singulair – a prescription medication?  Some people have more luck with that than OTC allergy medications.  A good air purifier in the bedroom and keeping the bedroom a cat free zone?

I love my dog and I truly couldn’t fathom getting rid of her so this is coming from an animal lover’s perspective… I would truly do anything in my power to find a solution and then if you have to rehome, hopefully you can find a family member or friend to take the cat so you can visit.

Yes, yes, kids > pets, but my heart still hurts for the cat who will lose his home.

Post # 56
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

mrsanonkitty:  just an idea to help with blending your family and help your son move on from rehoming kitty a bit…. What about your son and step daughter pick out a new, allergy friendly, let together? It would be kind of cool to have a new pet to love which was all of yours! 

PS – I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m a crazy cat lady and even I agree its likely you’ll need to regime (assuming you’ve pursued all medical options). You sound like a responsible pet owner so I know you’ll take the time to find him a loving alternative. I hope a family member or friend can step up 

Post # 57
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

mrsanonkitty: I love cats, but I’ve become allergic to them and it is misreable around them. I hate it so much, because I used to love cuddling them and would totally have a cat if I could. Someone suggested shots, which I did for a few years. They DO help.. but it will take months or maybe even years before she gets releif from the cat allergies, and it may never make them totally go away. She also could develop a tolerance to your cat eventually. I’ve developed a tolerance to my Future In-Laws dog so that he doesn’t bother me as much as he did when I first came around. But this will also take a long time to happen, if it ever happens. I would say rehoming the cat would be your best option, as heartbreaking as it may be. Do you have a relative or close friend that could take him so that you can still visit him?

Post # 58
Member
6304 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would get rid of the cat but if stepdaughter is ever rude in the future be like “I got rid of my cat for you!!!.”

 

Post # 59
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

lahela017:  +1. Allergies can also easily go the other way and get worse instead of “just going away”. My latent, mild dog allergy apparently has now ramped up into something serious–through years of exposure to the allergen. At a certain point your body can just be like “nope, seriously, do not want!” 

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