help -caught hiding therapy from SO

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

At the risk of being harsh, which I really don’t intend to be, you need to grow a backbone.  I spent a solid chunk of my young adult life without one so I can feel your pain, it’s a tough world out there.  I say this because there’s only one way he could feel his trust was compromised and that’s if he said “I don’t want you going to therapy” and you said “ok….” insert sad puppy face here.  Why would you agree to that??

Seriously girl, forget him for a second and focus on you.  Why have you given your partner control over this aspect of your life?  It doesn’t concern him.  Compromise is a lovely thing but compromise refers to mutual decision making when the decision affects both parties.  Your SO has no say over when you go to the bathroom, what you eat for lunch, whether you go to therapy, etc.  Don’t give up your autonomy.

Post # 48
Member
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

vsrd :  Thank you for the update, I have been thinking of you.   You are far better off without someone who cannot allow you to take care of your emotional health, in a way you feel is appropriate.

Wishing you all the best as you moving onward and upward!

Post # 49
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry. It honestly sounds like your SO is a very troubled person–not really someone who is able to be a loving and supportive partner for you right now. I hope you’re doing okay. You deserve better than someone who guilt trips you for going to therapy.

Post # 50
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

vsrd :  It sounds like your SO has a lot of things he needs to work through in order to be a trusting, loving, fair partner. You don’t need to battle with him anymore. He’s done you a favor, as hard as it may be to see. Stay strong!

Post # 52
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like, though, that the break-up is the healthiest option for both of you. You and him are good people separately, but not for each other – at least now the way he is right now (i.e. being unsupportive of you being in therapy). Stay strong.

Post # 53
Member
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m sorry you are hurt and I understand. But please know that you will get over this and be much happier than the stress you’ve been under during this relationship. No partner has the right to tell you whether you can seek medical care of any kind that you deem appropriate. My guess is that he objects to your seeing a counselor because he is afraid that the advice you receive will be “against” him or that it would motivate you to speak up for yourself. You are better off now.

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