(Closed) HELP! Childhood Love…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

seftonkitty:  If you’re still thinking “what if” with another guy, childhood friend or not, you’re eally not ready to be married. At all. 

Post # 17
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Sorry but in my opinion I feel like you are emotionally cheating on your Fiance. I don’t think you should meet with Daniel and I think you should really hold off on booking your wedding until you are sure. Take some time for yourself and try to figure this out.

Post # 18
100 posts
Blushing bee

I think that if you are seriously struggling with this then you are not ready to be married. You also have to ask yourself if meeting with Daniel will be worth possibly losing your fiance or hurting him and having him not trust you for a long time is worth it.

You need to evaluate your feelings and see if they are serious enough that you want to meet Daniel. If you decide to meet Daniel you need to tell your fiance beforehand and be prepared to face the consequences. He deserves to know if you go and meet him, and before the fact… not after.

I don’t know Daniel but if he is willing to meet up with an engaged girl behind her fiances back, that would be a red flag for me. It doesn’t mean that he is a bad person but it is something to think about.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  futuremrs1617.
Post # 19
772 posts
Busy bee

Have you considered your FI’s feelings at all because by the sound of your post you haven’t. If I was him and my Fiance was having these thoughts, I would be devastated. I agree with the pps who have commented it does not appear as if you are ready for marriage at all. While you can’t help feelings, your Fiance deserves better than this. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  writersblock.
Post # 20
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

So……Daniel has had *many* opportune times to approach you romatnically, but neever had? Either this is all inyour head and he doesn’t think of you that way….or…he is one of those guys that constantly let opportunities pass him by. Is that the type of guy you want to be with? Someone so passive? Someone who – if he does indeed have feelings for you – can’t even muster up the courage to talk about his feelings to you.

Yeah,t his Daniel guy seems like a twad to me. 

Post # 21
664 posts
Busy bee

I went and read your previous post and I have to say that you reminded me of one of my good friends. She also started dating her partner young. Younger than you but essentially, although she had boyfriends before, she never had any other serious boyfriends.

My friend dreamed of marrying this guy but once she got engaged after 9 years of dating, she started having doubts. She had never seriously dated anybody else after all. How could she really know that her first serious boyfriend was really The One with such limited dating experience? Anyways, she started getting the wandering eye and eventually cheated on her fiancé. What she learned: the guy she had a crush on really wasn’t “all that” and she had a great fiancé. He forgave her and they got married. 

Long story short, I think it’s completely normal to have doubts and that less dating experience can also make “forever” scarier. I also personally think you’re building this guy and the possibility of a relationship up in your mind as  way to justify and add to your doubts. Call it self sabotage. 

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