Post # 1
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
hi bees! I need some serious help
FH and I are in serious disagreement over wedding bands. Originally, he chose the triton one and I LOVED it..so classy and masculine. Now, all of a sudden, he wants one with diamonds. (We haven’t purchased any yet.) IMO it looks like jersey shore and I’m not a fan. And anyone I ask about it – including his parents, my friends, family, his friends, etc..agree. It’s also three times more than the Triton one.
Background info – he is an electrician. Always ‘dirty’ as he has a hands on job. I am reluctant to buy a ring that could end up destroyed. He claims he would not wear it to work as it is a job hazard anyway, but, still.
Opinions??? Should I just bite the bullet and let him get this diamond one even though its more money than *my* own wedding band? Or talk him into the Triton one?
His choice #1..
http://www.jbrobinson.com/RegionalStorefrontAssetStore/html/catalog.html
Pg 22, $749, one ring down and one ring to the right.
choice #2..
same page..but under the photo of the man, the ring that is yellow gold and $549. He would get it in white gold.
I guess what I’m trying to ask is opinions on diamonds in men’s wedding bands, and, if making him happy is worth the extra $250-500. please help!
Post # 3
Member
3330 posts
Sugar bee
Have you seen the Tungsten rings that have one tiny diamond in them? Those could be a good compromise for you. Personally, I wouldn’t get Fiance an expensive band because he loses things. Also, my dad had a really nice, intricate ring and he lost it when I was little. Maybe I was just raised to not trust men with jewelry, lol.
Post # 4
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
My Fiance wants one with diamonds too and we’re NOT from the Jersey Shore.
I think you should let him have what he wants…it may not be as practical but if it makes him happy-that’s all that should matter!
Post # 5
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
he’s going to be wearing it for the rest of his life just like you and your engagement ring…why wouldn’t you let him choose whatever he likes best?
Mine drives heavy equipment, he doesn’t wear the ring to work but as soon as he’s home and showered it’s on, and he wears it everywhere we go to (I honestly didn’t think he would..he had a hard time adjusting to having a ring on physically)
My DH’s band was way more expensive than my wedding band, and I also know he spent a pretty penny on my e-ring.
His – 4 diamonds, white gold:
mine:
Post # 6
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
Just like we want to like the ring we will wear for the rest of our life, men do too… he should get to choose what he likes..
Post # 7
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
This is one aspect of the wedding process that’s all HIS, so I think you should let him get what he really wants. You don’t want him to be unhappy with it for the rest of his life.
And god forbid if the more expensive one gets destroyed, that’s on him, and you can say I told you so!
Post # 8
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
good points. I know my Dad is on his 3rd ring, and with every ring, they spend less and less – haha! I suppose if he isn’t wearing it to work it wouldn’t have as big a chance of getting destroyed. It’s just tough because it’s so out of our budget – my e-ring was not expensive, and the wedding band I was looking at is not my first choice, but is affordable..around 300-400. I’m torn between letting him get what he wants and having to finance it, or trying to talk him into the cheaper one.
Post # 9
Member
3214 posts
Sugar bee
@sorrycharlie:
If it’s an issue of money, than tell him that the extra needs to come from somewhere else in your wedding budget. Or, like many women do, get the simpler ring now and upgrade on an anniversary.
I agree with everyone else that he should get the style he’s most comfortable with, but not if it blows the budget (any more than I’d recommend a woman getting the ring she wanted if it blew the budget).
Post # 10
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
Let him have what he wants. DH’s band cost more than mine and it was not a big deal (I promise).
Post # 11
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
@egb: Exactly. It’s his ring, I doubt any one of us would be too thrilled if he forced us to spend our lives wearing something we didn’t want.
Post # 12
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
Wow wow WOW. Could you even IMAGINE the response to this thread, if this was a male talking about his woman’s engagement ring? “My girlfriend wanted this cheap ring at first, which I was fine with, then suddenly she wanted one with DIAMONDS?? An extra $200??? Is that worth making her happy?” UGH.
My man had kind of the same response to wedding ring shopping, in that he just wantted a cheap, plain wedding ring…until I took im to see some Tacoris. He was completely against diamonds in his wedding band, but the ring he decided on has 4 small diamonds, and is quite comparable in price to my 1.5ct diamond engagement ring. Guess what? I bought it for him in a heartbeat. Because he was good enough to buy me MY perfect ring, and the wedding is not just about ME, being happy, it’s about us. So it wasn’t even a consideration. Of corse I would pay a little (or even a lot) extra to make him happy. If you wouldn’t… sorry but your future may have much bigger problems than a wedding ring. :/
Post # 13
Member
3134 posts
Sugar bee
Although I see where you’re coming from, he is the one that has to wear it for the rest of his life so I think he should get what he wants.
Post # 14
Member
12340 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Oh man, that was just cruel making me flip through that magazine seeing all that gorgeous stuff and trying not to look until I got to page 22!!
I have to agree with PP. While I can see why you think one ring is better for him than the other based on his job and stuff, he should be able to choose the ring he wants.
Post # 15
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
@Lysistrata: There’s really no need to imply that we have problems aside from a ring. I was asking for advice because frankly, we can’t afford much to begin with. So I was debating between having to finance the more expensive ring ($749), or being able to afford one ($249). I’m the budget-person in our household, he is totally willing to charge whatever he wants. He doesn’t really budget well at all, which is why I pay all the bills. That’s fine, between us, and we’ve never had issues with it.
What I’m struggling with is having to hash out with him that we can’t afford it, or just biting the bullet and having to finance it. I never said he couldn’t be happy or that the wedding is only about me. If I could afford it, I’d buy him whatever ring he wanted. Of course it bothers me that I can’t just choose the ring he wants – I wish I had unlimiited funds.. Maybe I worded the OP incorrectly, because I’d just woken up, but do not for a second think I don’t care if he’s happy or not.
ETA: “Opinions??? Should I just bite the bullet and let him get this diamond one even though its more money than *my* own wedding band? Or talk him into the Triton one?”
When I said that, by saying “even though its more money than my own wedding band” I meant that we are so tight on a budget that my wedding band is really, really, really cheap. I’d love to be able to afford whatever ring he points to but we can’t. That’s why I was trying to make him feel better about the cheaper one because its also nice, even though it doesn’t have diamonds and it costs less. If that makes any sense. I also had to talk up the cheaper band to myself because I wished I could afford a nicer one, but we just can’t.
Post # 16
Member
3993 posts
Honey bee
Not sure if this has been mentioned yet, but Fiance works in a VERY physical field so we 1) didn’t want to get him a precious metal (gold, white gold, etc) and are looking into getting him a tungsten carbide.
For one, they are less expensive. So if he DOES lose it or need it replaced, then it’s only $100 out of our pocket, not $250+.
Also, they are very unique looking and detailed in some instances. Which is why I’m linking this to you. Maybe he just doesn’t want what he perceives as “every man’s wedding band.” I know that is what my Fiance is saying. He wants to be manly/masculine, but he doesn’t just want a plain band. This ties into the whole “let him get what he wants.”
If it’s a budgetary issue, then I def think you guys should look into some alternatives. I think there are even some with diamonds that are reasonably priced?
Good luck. And do what is best for your budget. I am assuming you had the same mindset with your e-ring and wedding band.
http://www.titaniumkay.com/Mens-Tungsten-Carbide-Rings-100401.html
Have him check out the last one on the third row?