- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
I posted this in “emotional”, but then I found this section, maybe you can help me out. I can’t decide if I even want a wedding. Part of the issue is financial, it just seems insane to me to spend thousands of dollars on one day, but a bigger part of it has to do with my family.
My family is VERY conservative (as in, before my cousin’s wedding my uncle called everyone in the family to WARN them that there would be a gay person in attendance, who was one of my cousin’s best friends/helped her plan the wedding).
Knowing this, I feel like I can’t have a wedding at all because basically ALL of my friends are part of the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) community. I want our best friend to marry us (she’s gay), and of course I would want all of my friends to be “brides/grooms people” rather than traditional groomsmen and bridesmaids, they could just walk down the aisle with their partners/significant others and stand on alternating sides.
I don’t want to get married in a church or with anything religious (which I think my family would also find offensive/disrespectful, etc). I can just see the whole thing becoming a huge issue, but I’m not willing to tell my friends they can’t come to my wedding or that they have to act straight in front of my family. But I also don’t want my family to be saying offensive things and demanding I have a conventional wedding. They are definitely the types to throw money at problems, so I feel if I do have a wedding I need to pay for all of it myself, there are always strings attached with money in my family and I can just see it being a thing like “well we paid for your dress so we don’t think your gay friend should officiate the wedding, the least you can do is have a priest,etc.”
Please help, I really want to have a special day with beautiful photographs and lots of love, but maybe I should just buy myself a dress, hire a photographer and elope with my man? My friends are like my family, and they’ve known us as a couple since we first got together, it’s hard for me to imagine tying the knot without them by my side 🙁
I just don’t want to regret my decision, please give your opinions.