Post # 1
Hey all! I’ve never been to a destination wedding or known anyone who has had one so I’m lost on this one. My husband and I are invited to a destination wedding in July and we really want to go. We just got the save the date with info and the deadline for a deposit is end of October (no problem) but then paid in full by end of December (problem). The reason I’m hesitant is because we are TTC and Im not sure when we will be successful so I’m not willing to travel across the globe when I’m more than 5 months pregnant. So I don’t want to risk putting out about 4K only to lose it all if we get pregnant. I can’t put off TTC because I’ve been diagnosed with infertility and putting off TTC could severely impact our future. Regardless I’m also not a believer in pushing off future plans. Ideally I’d like to commit to this trip in March
So my questions is… is it tacky to not use the group booking when attending a destination wedding? Why/ why not? Also, just wanted to point out this group booking isn’t really a great deal. Maybe $100 off of what I see listed online so it’s not like we would be losing out on special pricing. Would this upset the bride or groom?
Post # 2
It might upset them, but that shouldn’t matter. They are *probably* doing it this way, because if a certain # of people book with this group the Bride & groom get free shit. Either the wedding package, or their entire vacation, that kind of thing.
Just let them know that you won’t be able to book until next year and will let them know closer to the wedding.
Post # 3
It is not tacky to not use and I’d be shocked if it upset the bride and groom. The couple have likely put this together to assist people only and not obligatory. My friend is currently planning her destination wedding for next August and has told us all which area of the island she would like us to stay in but that is that. The rest is down to us. As part of her bridal party obv we have some exceptions like where to stay the night before and that is obligatory for us but if you are just a guest, then by all means let them know you will be aiming to attend but plan to make your own travel plans. Just make sure you give them plenty of time if you know you can’t attend due to TTC or pregnancy.
Edit: also good point from PP, they prob get discount on things by having a bunch of people book up. Again not obligatory, go but make your own plans
Post # 4
I would just contact them and let them know that you hope to be able to attend but won’t be able to commit so early, therefore will not be able to use their group booking.
Post # 5
I would do whatever works best for you.
I was a Destination Bride and I’m not a fan of deadlines that are so far in advance like this. A lot can happen in a year. I turned down a Destination Wedding because I had to book it over a year in advance.
Post # 6
Firstly, congrats on TTC. It took me 2 years to get pregnant with my first so I’d say don’t worry about this bridge until you have to cross it.
How much would you be out of pocket if you had to cancel if you were pregnant by December?
Id say go regardless (unless it’s a Zika zone) as 5 months is quite a nice pregnant time.
Post # 7
I had a destination wedding and plenty of people booked outsjde our group booking. It’s not tacky and didn’t upset me at all – I was grateful for everyone who made the time to come.
I was on a destination wedding facebook group and saw lots of brides get upset when people would book outside of their group booking because they needed x number of people to get a discount. Now THAT is tacky!
Post # 8
they actually complained about that….yuck! That’s what gives destination weddings bad names.
Post # 9
I had a feeling there was something like this. And no judgement, I would definitely help them out if the timing worked out. I just didn’t want to be seen as like low class for booking our own trip and snubbing them.
you also made a good point. This could very well be just to help everyone.
I like the simplicity. I think we will say just this.
that’s what I was thinking! Like if we got pregnant next month we could have a baby by then… it’s like 😬
thank you! So glad you got your little one. This would be our second so I’m not sure how long it will take. Our first was just under 2 years and currently we are at 9 months trying with similar issues. So FX
We would be out $750 from the non refundable deposits due end of October. Which is a lot honestly for a trip we won’t be taking. If I’m newly pregnant I’m totally open to going I just don’t want to be like third trimester chasing a toddler kind of deal hahah or with a newborn
yikes!! That’s what I’m worried about. Like that they are relying on people to book to get stuff and they will be upset. Which I guess is tacky but I just don’t want to be the person who makes it harder. You know?
Post # 10
I travel a lot and I would recommend looking into trip insurance in this case, whether you book with the group or on your own. Read all the fine print, and make sure that it would cover a cancellation for something like a pregnancy. That way you can still make your plans, but if you happen to get pregnant and are uncomfortable with the timing you could still get most of your money back.
Post # 11
Totally understandable! And honestly, they’d have to be major dicks to get upset with you about it.
That said, if it is a resort wedding, there is always the risk that they’ll be booked up by the time you are ready to book and if you stay elsewhere you will need to purchase a day pass for the wedding, which typically expire by 10 pm and which are not guaranteed to be available because if the resort is at capacity they won’t be able to offer that.
Post # 12
I had a Destination Wedding, and although we offered the TA services to our guests (TA was a family friend and the only reason we used her, otherwise we dont use a TA at all), her rates were not at a discounted price. She said they were, but many of our guests found cheaper prices elsewhere. I personally would never use a TA again.
I would definitely recommend getting travelers insurance for the trip if you decide to book!! It is well worth it and comes in handle if you have to cancel things.
Not that this is the same situation as yours, but we had a groomsman and his wife book their trip. The wife ended up getting pregnant and couldn’t make the trip due to Zika, so they just had another friend of ours go instead and huy his own ticket and pay his half for the room cost. So that may be something to consider too.