Help dh's annoying friend move?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
6787 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

You are a grown ass woman. Hell no you don’t have to go help your husband’s obnoxious friend move. Tell him if he feels so strongly about it, he can go muscle up. You’ll be using your weekend to do something else.

You do not need permission or excuses to justify not serving people who treat you poorly. Fuck her. She has got to have some friends who can come help her (and her table dancing, twerking ass) move her own shit. The stress of a moving day is not the time to try to get to know the sunnier, sweeter side of a person, either.

You also don’t have to spend all day with grandma to justify not being husband’s friend’s packmule for a day. Go see your grandmother then go to a movie or go get a mani/pedi or go to a bookstore or do whatever you do when you have some free time and no one to answer to. Do whatever you want to do.

If you genuinely want to help- go do that. If you are considering it out of guilt or obligation- absolutely NOT.

Post # 3
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You’re way overthinking this. You don’t have to help her move. your Darling Husband can go by himself. And this has nothing to do with you liking her or not. One of our friends just moved and my Fiance went and helped him and I stayed home. 

I’m assuming the ron swanson comment was a joke, but I do understand it could be hurtful. I would talk to her about it and explain instead of holding a grudge. Be an adult and explain that the comment upset you.

Post # 4
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You don’t have to go, but it’s also an opportunity to see if perhaps maybe you just haven’t seen the best side of her the two times you met. Only you can decide if you would like to give her another shot. 

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee

I got to the part where she called you a parasite and my mind was made up, I personally would no way in HELL help her move and I would encourage my H not to as well.

Why is this moving a WE thing with you and H?  My hubs helps lots of friends move, because he’s a big guy and he also has a truck to transport things, but it never once crossed his (or my mind) to help, and I like all his friends a lot and they like me.

In our circle only the guys get stuck with this kind of helping lol. Can you work that option out?  Either way though – I don’t like the sounds of this friend, maybe she should buck up and pay a moving company (I did that when I moved once instead of crowdsourcing on FB).  She seems selfish – and cheap as well.

Post # 7
1452 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry but there is no way my husband would help out, let alone be friends with a woman who called me a parasite and also twerks in inappropriate public settings.  How good of a friend could she be if she gave you guys such a thought-less “I didn’t give two fucks about this” wedding gift of just candy (sorry who does this?!  unless the married couple were completely bsc about candy but even then…) This is a no brainer, don’t waste your time.

Post # 8
758 posts
Busy bee

If she’s going to have her daughter while moving maybe offer to take her out to do something rather than help move things? 

Otherwise, I wouldn’t waste my time helping her. 

Post # 9
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I actually hate helping anyone move. Just pay for a removalist. I don’t expect people to help me move my stuff and I don’t want to help anyone else move their stuff. 

Post # 10
622 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t go, your husband can go on his own, you don’t need to go with. I’m with the PP though that unless there are extenuating circumstances (quick eviction, DV, extreme poverty, etc) people can hire movers. I moved out of town and back, just myself and my daughter, and I hired movers both times. I wasn’t making barely any money but I saved for it as I didn’t want to deal with it or make my friends and family deal with it. In my book helping someone move would be one of the worst ways to spend a day. 

Post # 11
175 posts
Blushing bee

If reading only the beginning of your post, I wouldn’t go for the reasons other PPs mentioned. 

But I have read your post till the end and I would do exactly what you concluded with: help for a couple of hours in the morning and then see grandma in the afternoon. For the reasons you mentioned yourself.

It sounds like a good idea. And in the  worst case, you confirm your impression of her but get a nice exercise out of it. In the best case, you might gain a new friend.

Post # 12
3000 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t listen to the meanies. Help the woman move house.

If the day is awful you can have a laugh about it afterwards with your husband.

If the day is good then you will get a different perspective on this woman. There may be some very good reasons why the daughter is so charming.

And if all else fails remember that what you are really doing is helping the charming 9-year old move. 


Post # 13
1836 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would go. I don’t see what she’s done to deserve you refusing to help. Often by serving someone we can learn to see past the little things they’ve done to annoy us.

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors