Post # 1
We are planning on doing a family style meal at our wedding in June, and having some disagreements on what to serve.
Each table will get bread, salad, sides (veggies, potatoes, etc.) and 3 mains (enough for each person to have one of each main).
We would like to do Beef (Tri-Tip), Chicken, and a Veggie Main. We both really want a Beef main and do not want Fish.
However, my fiances parents want us to have Fish instead of Chicken, because there are a handful of members in their family who will not eat Chicken or Beef, and would be left with only the Veggie option.
My issues with doing this are..
- There are members on my side, including my Matron of Honor, who only eat Chicken. Therefore this change would require them to have a special meal or the kids meal.
- I do not like Fish, and would really rather not have something I don’t like at our own wedding.
Our thoughts are that the since it’s family style, those on my Fiance’s side who can only eat the veggie meal will still have plenty to eat – as they can also eat the salad, bread and all the sides. Although they only get 1 main option instead of 3 like others, having only 1 option is pretty standard for a wedding meal anyways. We also plan for the Veggie main to be pretty bulky, either a Polenta Risotto or Pasta type dish.
Any advice here!?
Post # 2
- Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK
That sounds amazing!
Who is paying for the wedding, you or your parents? If your parents are paying, they may get more of a say in what choices are made. If you are paying, it’s all your decision.
I think that chicken is a more practical choice than fish, I think more people will like it. And it’s not like you’re not offering a vegetarian option for those who do not eat chicken or beef. Everyone will be taken care of.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
If everyone is getting a portion of each of the three mains, that theoretically means that each portion is 1/3 the size it would normally be, to make up a full main course. So the people that only eat the veggie main would only get 1/3 of the main course, or would there be enough provided so they got a full main course? Expecting them to fill the gap with bread and salad is not really fair. Could you get fish for just the number of people who don’t eat chicken or beef? You say that changing the chicken for fish would mean some guests would need a special meal, but I don’t see how this is any different to their family members needing a special meal? You might need to find a compromise here.
Post # 4
Stick with chicken! Other’s, like my family and I (mix of us veggies and pescatarians) would HAPPILY have the veggie option with sides too. Chicken is an overall pleaser and fish is very polarising. If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have to avoid it and it’s strong smell all night. Their family members can suck it up and eat the full meal provided to them within their requirements (the veggie one).
Post # 5
I think beef, chicken, and veggie is fine for a family style meal. Everyone will have options of what to eat, even if it’s not of the main dish.
Post # 6
KiwiDerbyBride : I went to a wedding like this, I received a full portion of the veggie meal before others took any. People are understanding, you just tell them you’re vegetarian. With that said servers should know if one table needs two veggie serves or more.
Post # 7
I mean, the whole point of having a veggie option is to accomodate people who don’t eat chicken, beef, or other meat. It kind of sounds like his parents are of that outdated opinion that if a meal doesn’t involve an animal, it can’t possibly be filling or satisfying.
I agree with PPs that more people will like a pasta or risotto-based veggie option than fish, at least if you’re in the US. Plus you don’t like fish, and it can often smell. I’d definitely nix the fish, and keep the veggie.
Post # 8
nonnymouse : Thanks!
The wedding will be paid for by a combination of my parents, his parents, and us – so I don’t think who is paying will dictate food choices.
I should also mention that his parents want to pay for the Rehersal Dinner, which will have fish and will include all the family members that don’t eat chicken/beef.
Post # 9
maybe you could make an option of 2 between chicken and fish just for that dish
Post # 10
What kind of fish are we talking about here? Salmon? Or something more like shrimp or clam chowder bread bowls?
Post # 11
I’d go with the chicken, it’s the safer option. Also if you don’t like fish, having to smell the fish at the table won’t be pleasant. Maybe you can consult with your FI’s parents on the veggie meal, so they feel like they’re still included somehow, and will feel better about what their side who don’t eat beef or chicken will be eating.