Post # 1
My fiances parents are divorced. His father was remarried when he was 6 and was then raised by his stepmother. His birth mother is kind of in the picture but not really but he of course still respects her as his mother.
So who would light the unity candle? My mom will lite mine of course, but should his two mothers share the role and light it together or should just one light the candle?
Post # 3
@Headah: Could your mother light your stepmother’s candle, which would in turn light the unity candle? I feel like forcing his two moms to light a candle together would be awkward. Would you consider not doing a unity candle? Or just lighting the candle with your Fiance without your mothers?
It all boils down to how well FI’s birth mother gets along with FI’s stepmother.
Post # 4
If both of your FI’s mothers have at least a cordial, civil relationship and not an adversarial one, I think it would be a lovely and very appropriate gesture to have both of these ladies jointly light the candle that represents your Fiance. If one of these women is his biological mother and gave him life, and the other raised him since he was a child, it would be hard to exclude either of them, and, unless there are strong negative feelings between them, it’s likely each is grateful to the other for the vital role she has played in your FI’s life.