- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Should I invite my extended family members’ boyfriends/girlfriends to our intimate wedding?
THINGS TO CONSIDER
– This question only applies to my side; my fiance’s family’s guest list is pretty straight forward (no confusing boyfriend/girlfriend issues)
– We are having a formal sit-down meal that is not cheap
– We want to have a very intimate, “every single person is important to us” sort of wedding (e.g. no strangers, only family and our close friends)
– I am not close to any of my relatives at all, I am just inviting them out of obligation (only my blood aunts/uncles, their spouses and my first cousins)
– These significant others in question have recently started showing up at every extended-family get together (we have about 3-4 per year, and they’ve shown up at the past 2).
– They are adults but are not professionals yet (young adults/some work here and there, living with parents)
– They are “nice” people though I don’t know them/have only met them once or twice (though my cousins apparently have been dating them for a long time).
My fiance and I are in disagreement – I do not want to invite them, but he thinks we should.
– I feel icky having to pay for my cousins’ boyfriends/girlfriends whom I don’t really know, especially since I am barely even friends with my cousins themselves
– We are trying to keep the guestlist down and there are other people I would rather add to our guestlist – not these boyfriends/girlfriends in question
– I would like to write the specific names of the invitees on the invitation, and when they ask “Can I bring my boyfriend X?” I would like to say something like “I really wanted to invite everyone, but since it’s important to us that we have a very small/intimate wedding, we’re asking that you don’t bring your boyfriend/girlfriend this time.” >_<
– These significant others whom we’d have to pay for individually, would probably not bring a gift (e.g. they would probably just include themselves in my cousins’ family’s gift) (SELFISH ME THINKING ABOUT PRESENTS LOL)
– I personally would not be angry if I did not get invited to my significant-other’s cousin’s small/intimate wedding, especially if they had decided that only immediate family would be invited
MY FIANCE’S TAKE:
– Not inviting them could cause family drama since my aunts and uncles probably consider the significant others as “family” already
– He did get to meet these people once and thought they were nice, and he would feel bad for not inviting them
– He doesn’t want to be rude and he feels that inviting blood relatives only would come off as insensitive and rude.
– He wants to make sure there are no long-term resentments!!
I can totally see his point!!! WAhhhh I don’ t know what to do.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?? SHOULD I INVITE THEM? ANY feedback would be SUPER SUPER HELPFUL!!
THANK YOU 🙂