(Closed) Help! Don't know what to do about a future brother-in-law's friend.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I ignored comments like that.  He doesn’t need an explanation to know that you guys just aren’t that close.  He probably only expects an invitation because of the location of the wedding.

Just ignore it unless he blatently asks you where his invitation is.  Does he know the wedding date?  You don’t think he would just show up, do you?

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Tell him there isn’t going to be alcohol! J/K!  He may have to be told bluntly that he isn’t invited.  You don’t want him showing up and ruining the party by his behavior.

Post # 5
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You can also go through the best man (and the other siblings/family members) to make sure they understand that your parents are paying and that you and your Fiance are trying to keep things on the small side with only the people who are closest to you present.

Hopefully they’ll be understanding and will be able to nip some of this in the bud.


Post # 7
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Change the venue.

Post # 8
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Can you get some kind of security? 

Post # 9
3697 posts
Sugar bee

This is something that your best man *should* handle, since A) it’s his friend, and B) one of his responsibilities as best man is to help make sure things go smoothly for you guys. Could you have your Fiance talk to him and ask to seriously enlist his help with keeping the entire wedding (not only this one friend, but any other people from the circle who might potentially crash, maliciously or innocently) under control?

If the best man seriously won’t step up, then maybe your fiance should talk with the friend. I wouldn’t recommend that you do it: the guy is more likely to listen to his buddy’s brother, whereas if it’s you who tries to say something it’ll probably just egg him on.

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