Post # 1
Ok. I really am at a loss on how to deal with one of the friends of my fiancés brother. One background note: My fiancé is a quadruplet and so there are a lot of people who are friends with one of the quads but not my fiancé. Also we are getting married on my fiancés property where they used to have huge parties in high school so people are starting to think our wedding is just another family party. Also we are trying to keep the wedding to 150 (my parents are paying for it) and we are already way over on the guest list. Hhh so my fiancé and I barely know this friend of the best man, but what I have seen I really don’t like and neither does my fiancé (he’s just not very nice). Anyway he hasn’t been invited (though invitations haven’t gone out) and every time I see him he exclaims things like “I am going to be sooooo hammered at your wedding, I mean there isn’t anyone who is going to be more hammered than me!” or “Do you know how many drunk toasts I am going to make?? It’s going to be so ridiculous!” Well you get the idea. I feel like at this point someone should say something to him… I just don’t know who that should be or if it would be totally rude of me to write him a NICE note explaining my parents are paying for the wedding and we are on a budget and it isn’t going to be a huge bash… This is seriously causing me anxiety. Do I need to invite him? The best man said he doesn’t care if I don’t invite him, but that he’ll show up unless someone says something. Ugh. What do I do?
Post # 3
I ignored comments like that. He doesn’t need an explanation to know that you guys just aren’t that close. He probably only expects an invitation because of the location of the wedding.
Just ignore it unless he blatently asks you where his invitation is. Does he know the wedding date? You don’t think he would just show up, do you?
Post # 4
Tell him there isn’t going to be alcohol! J/K! He may have to be told bluntly that he isn’t invited. You don’t want him showing up and ruining the party by his behavior.
Post # 5
You can also go through the best man (and the other siblings/family members) to make sure they understand that your parents are paying and that you and your Fiance are trying to keep things on the small side with only the people who are closest to you present.
Hopefully they’ll be understanding and will be able to nip some of this in the bud.
Post # 6
I really think he’ll show up unless someone says something. Just because that’s what the brother and sister of my fiance said… I tried to encourage my fiances brother to spread the word that it was a smallish wedding and a sit down dinner (it would be super awkward to show up and not have a seat) but his response was “people are going to crash your wedding… you should just have extra plates ready.” hhhh
Post # 8
Can you get some kind of security?
Post # 9
This is something that your best man *should* handle, since A) it’s his friend, and B) one of his responsibilities as best man is to help make sure things go smoothly for you guys. Could you have your Fiance talk to him and ask to seriously enlist his help with keeping the entire wedding (not only this one friend, but any other people from the circle who might potentially crash, maliciously or innocently) under control?
If the best man seriously won’t step up, then maybe your fiance should talk with the friend. I wouldn’t recommend that you do it: the guy is more likely to listen to his buddy’s brother, whereas if it’s you who tries to say something it’ll probably just egg him on.
Post # 10
Thanks so much ladies! I think my Fiance is going to approach him about it… whew!