Post # 1
Next weekend we will be going shopping for bridesmaid dresses and from the vibe over the past few weeks I am feeling very anxious about the whole thing.
I have two type A personalities in the 4 bridesmaid crew who seem to voice their opinion wholeheartedly, but then are also passive-aggressive when they feel like they have lost their part in a discussion.
Do any of you bees have any tips or advice to help this process go smoother?
I was told that bridesmaid drama is part of the process…….really? Can’t they play nice?
How do I make sure my vision is carried out?
Post # 3
i feel for you, i have a couple of those in my Bridal Party myself…
i would go to the shop yourself first, select a specific number of dresses in the colors/styles you like and make it clear to the consultant that when you arrive with your girls, these are the only choices. she should be able to help rein the girls in!
Post # 4
What is your vision?
If your vision is that all girls wear the same exact dress in the same exact color, then what I would recommend is not letting anyone voice their opinions and start off by not asking them.
If you’re willing to relinquish some control, then set boundaries. If what you want is the same fabric and color, but you’re willing to let them pick their own dress, I would say “You get to pick a dress by X designer, in X color, in X fabric.”
I would just suggest standing your ground and being firm with your words. If it gets out of hand, remind the girls that this is your wedding and when it comes time for their wedding, they will have as much or as little say as they choose to have.
Hopefully the bridal consultant will be able to help you!!
Post # 5
@5thgradeteacher: Remember – this is your wedding! I had a little drama at the beginning, but I’m not sure if it was the glass of wine I was sipping or me just being fed up. But, something had to give! Everyone was put in their place when I decided (without them) what they were going to wear.
The hardest thing is asking for input, especially when your wedding is coming up.
Opinions are great, but keep in mind…YOU ARE THE BRIDE
Post # 6
I thought about this a little bit more. I think having a conversation with your BMs to let them know what your vision is beforehand might help. This way, they will know in advance where this is headed.
Post # 7
I think you need to decide exactly what your vision is. Pick out material, style, length, color and start there. I would pick a back up idea in case your first plan doenst look right on your girls. I think most times bridesmaids take over when the bride isnt sure what she wants. Do your research first so your confident in what you want.
Post # 8
Thank you Bees-I can’t thank you enough for the support!
A little background-I have been a people-pleaser almost to a fault. So, this group of dear friends, who don’t get me wrong I truly love, is used to me being pretty easy going, nonspecific, etc.
My choice for wearing all black bridesmaid dresses is not negotiable, long story behind why the color choice, and I would prefer that the fabric is not too shiny.
I am pretty okay with anything that falls into the guidelines I have told them about. (I was in a nightmare of a position earlier this year when one of the bridesmaids was inspired by the black dress Rhianna wore to the Grammys this year. I am all about Rhianna’s sense of fashion, but my bridesmaid was serious about getting something similar to what Rhianna wore.Google it if you are curious)
Guidelines I have already set for the dresses are:
- not strapless or too cleavage happy
- knee length or full length
- they need to be ordered ASAP, like NEXT Sunday (I have a bridesmaid in Ireland who I have to ship the dress to once they come in so she can get last minute alterations, if necesary before she gets on a plane to come over here)
So….fast forward to last night. The bridesmaid inspired by Rhianna’s dress has researched the boutique designers we are going to and 60% of her preferred choices are strapless and short/way above the knee.
- address the choices today in an email
- wait until we are at the shop and state my guidelines in front of the consultant
- go into the boutique prior to the consultant and see if I can give her my guidelines.
Everything else is going smoothly, my fiance is a gem, and except for this part and which one bridesmaid’s response was “It wouldn’t be a wedding if there wasn’t bridesmaid dress drama.” For real?
Post # 9
@bostongirl27:Thanks so much, I unfortunately gave them the I want you to be happy and pick soemthing you like, but I will definitely be using the consultant to help me as well!
@Mrs.SFI:You made a really important point which is if I am not sure what I want, then that can open the door to a take over! Maybe I will start with what I don’t want like(I did for my dress) and then it will become a little more clear. I really appreciate the support!
@mrskopp2be: Thanks so much-I will definitely speak with the bridal consultant!
@bumbleb922 :Wine, I never thought of that, that would be a great help and if not I will be getting some on the way home!