Post # 1
My fiance wants to have an engagement ‘party’ by having dinner at a restaurant. He wants our guests to pay for their own dinner. I have never heard of this before. I don’t feel it is proper etiquette to invite guests and have them pay for themselves. We cannot afford to have a party and pay for it ourselves.
I would love to gather our family and close friends together for an elegant dinner to celebrate our engagement.
How would I word the invitation?? Should we just call it a “get together” instead?
Post # 3
You’re right – it’s definitely not proper to invite your “guests” to a dinner they’ll have to pay for themselves, so by using casual wording and just saying you’d like to get everyone together to help celebrate, hope they will be able to join you, etc. you won’t be leading guests to assume their meal will be paid for. =]
Post # 4
@Lily1217: Thats like saying “You’re invited to my wedding please enclose 100$ per plate.” I don’t think theres any nice way to word that…
Edit: You can ask a friend to send the invitations and collect RSVP’s and just include a note about the approximate meal price, and where to “meet.”
Post # 4
What if you hosted it at your place and cooked yourself? You could ask everyone to dress up and be elegant. The cost of his and your dinners at the restaurant could probably cover a good amount of uncooked food to be prepared at home.
ETA: how did this end up in “dress”?
Post # 5
@Lily1217: Guest should never have to pay for dinner that is proper ettiquette. However, if you opt to have a restaurant celebration
Send your RSVP , to provide ample notice to the restaurant .
Dinner range $10-$50
Cake will be provided
Sounds harsh, rule of thumb don’t throw a party that you cannot afford. some options might be having a gathering at your place. Ordering some take out and enjoying the meal at home.
Post # 6
I’ve been to one of these recently and it seemed really rude that we paid for our meals by ourselves.
Have a cookout instead, more causual, cheaper and fun.
Post # 7
I had a friend recently who did their engagement celebration just meeting at a bar. It was pretty understood that people were in control of their own tabs, no one minded. It was a casual “Hey. come celebrate with us!” type of thing.
Post # 8
I agree just have the e party at your house or something. Have a cookout just do finger foods or something and just treat it like you would when your friends are over any other time. But if you insist on doing it at the resturant I would give them a range of the cost of food so they will know that they are expected to pay for their own meals. I dont think this would be that big of a deal. Anyone who wants to be there will be.
Post # 9
Host the party you can afford – even if it’s a casual pizza party at your place.