(Closed) HELP.. engagment party questions.

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: who pays?
    Us- since technically we are hosting? : (11 votes)
    79 %
    Each family should be expected to pay seperately : (3 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Um, well you sent out an invitation for your own engagement party, technically that means there is a “host”. However, since it’s such close immediate family, just tell them everyone’s on their own? It’s not as awkward with immedaite family.

    I don’t know how to tactfully say this, but why are you throwing yourself an engagement dinner party? Versus, say, a “family get together”?

    Dinner party, to me, means there is a) a paying host and b) presents. If i got the invitation, I would assume you guys are paying and I’d go buy you a gift

    Post # 5
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i would probably assume you’re paying. but i also think it depends on your family. i know both my dad and my fi’s dad would never let us pay a dinner bill.

    Post # 7
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think a quick comment to the family members coming that it’s buy your own I think they’ll understand no worries!

    Funny you mention this tho, i put together a friend’s baby shower, but it’s definitely buy-your-own-brunch and I had a cute online invitation that I attached a jpeg of and it was REALLY weird trying to make it so everyone knew that while I was technically “throwing” A a baby shower, I wasn’t paying for everybody’s lunch!

    I ended up making a comment about the place being inexpensive and having somethign for everyone, haha.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I do not think you can ask people to pay thier own way.

    If you are throwing the party, then you are hosting and you are paying for it. If you would like to not pay, I would suggest talking to both the parents. Typical the parents will throw this type of party. Ask them if they would like to host it. but it’s a little awkward as you have already planned it and didn’t ask them to do it 1st. I would suggest saying that you ddidn’t really know how things worked…that you didn’t know if you were supposed to throw the party yourself. Tell them that the more you have looked into it you see that perents normally host. Ask thme if they would like to host.  If not, then youare hosting and paying for it.

    My parents didn’t host. It was a cousin-in-law who threw a small 10person dinner party at her house

    Don’t assume that your paretns will “not let you pay”. My family has no problem sticking me with the bill. So don’t throw something you can’t afford in hopes that someone else will pick up the bill. What a terrible way to riun your fun night.

    But no…please don’t ask people to all pitch in to pay for the party. I am pretty sure that etiquette would say that’s a big no-no

    Post # 9
    Member
    4024 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I didn’t vote, but I think that you should mention to your family that it is more of a get together and for each to pay their part. That you aren’t hosting anything. I think that would be ok.

    Post # 10
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Since it’s immediate family- I guess let them all know it’s not a party but a get-together … like someone else said.

    Post # 12
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I kinda think since its a small dinner and close family that everyone would assume they would pay for their own meal.  Maybe kinda just quietly/non-assumingly spread the word. Like drop hints “oh I hope everyone is ok with the choice of place they have lots of options/price ranges so it shouldnt be too expensive for anyone” does that make sense?

    Post # 13
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    If I received an invitation to an engagement party, I would assume the host is paying. We are having one, and we are hosting, our guests are not expected to pay.

    The topic ‘HELP.. engagment party questions.’ is closed to new replies.

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