Post # 1
If I could do this ALL over again, I would ELOPE! With that said… here is the situation in a nutshell.
My future Mother-In-Law is NOT comign to the wedding. She “refuses to put on a happy face” when she is not happy, she dislikes me, and her son has hurt her feelings for inviting his Aunt, whom she recently stopped talking to.. When I say she’s not coming, I MEAN IT.. SHE IS NOT coming, so I really need help with figuring out these ceremony programs! (as you can tell, I am not that upset by her not coming LOL).
Here is how it looks:
Parents of the Bride: Mom & StepDad (should I write that he is my stepdad? I was just going to do my Mom’s Name & His Name, since I do not have a relationship w/ my father)
Parents of the Groom: Dad & Soon-to-Be StepMom (they will be married in Sept., but we consider her a parent already).
Do I include my fiance’s Mom’s name, even though she won’t be there, and will not be supporting us in any way, or leave it out (which is kind of what I think should be done), and do I reference that his step-mom is a step-parent, or leave her out entirely?
This is such an odd situation. I am truly confused.
Post # 3
Given the circumstances, I would cut the “who’s who” section of the program and stick only to the order of events. If you want to have people know who the parents/step parents are, maybe have the DJ introduce them with the bridal party.
Post # 4
@KitKatNYC: +1. Just avoid the whole thing. “Seating of the parents”. Done.
Post # 5
@KitKatNYC: I never even thought of that!!!
I also just came up with another idea…
Parent of the Groom
John J. & fiance Lilly N.
Post # 6
@JenGirl: I’ve thought of that, but I fear my mother will be insulted….
I know I can’t make everyone happy, and it’s not about them anyway, but… that’s really the only mention my Mom is going to get.
Post # 7
I would cut out the formalities such as mother of the bride, etc.
The ___X___ and ___Y__ families invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting
Visit here http://www.invitationconsultants.com/sw-wedding.aspx
Post # 8
My Future Mother-In-Law isn’t coming to my wedding either. There isn’t the drama, it’s just that my Fiance doesn’t speak with her anymore, so we won’t be inviting her. Also same circumstances with my father. I am planning on just doing this:
So and so Mother of the Bride
so and so Stepfather of the bride
so and so father of the groom
so and so stepmother of the groom
From my POV for your situation, if she CHOOSES not to come, she doesn’t get to be offended. Sucks for her. She should have sucked it up and shown up to her son’s wedding.
… I tend to be a little on the tough love side of things though.
Post # 9
I agree with a couple of the other pps. If she’s the one that chose not to come, she should NOT be included on the programs. I know how you feel about your mother being hurt by not being included on the programs, so I wouldn’t just skip the formality. In all honestly, if his mother doesn’t want to support you or your fiance in his new life, then she has already made your choice for you. But on a side note…have you talked with your Fiance about it yet? What are his thoughts?
As far as the step mom..I would totally include her…she’s already considered a parent type figure and it’s not like his dad just started dating her a few weeks ago. Good luck with everything!!
Post # 10
My father didn’t come to our wedding, and we didn’t put him in the program as he wasn’t in the ceremony and therefore we didn’t feel we needed to explain his role. DH’s dad passed away several years ago and we didn’t put him in the program, either (although he was mentioned during speeches). Neither mom is remarried yet so we just put in mother of the bride: name and mother of the groom: name. Boyfriends of the moms were present, but not in the ceremony, so also not in the program, but they did get boutonnieres.
Now that I look back on it written out, I’m not sure our thought processes made a heck of a lot of sense, but that’s what we did. If anyone was offended, they didn’t mention it. We also had the “advantage” of paying for the wedding ourselves, so no one had to be recognized for their financial contribution.
Post # 11
I am in a very similar situation, except that my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are married and have been for 33 years. We used to have a great relationship until last year when Future Mother-In-Law snapped. Although I haven’t seen or spoken to her in over a year (and have never had anything even close to an argument with her), I’ve learned that she can be a very mean person who is at times paranoid and extremely jealous. After months of trying to figure out why she suddenly changed her mind about me and our relationship, my fiancé gave up and hasn’t had much communication with her at all.
Soon after her intense change of heart, she and her husband moved out of state, I guess to try and lure my fiancé away from me. Obviously it didn’t work, which has just made her even more unstable. My fiancé is an only child. Fortunately, Future Father-In-Law is coming to the wedding. Future Mother-In-Law has made it clear on several occasions that she is “definitely not going to be at the wedding!”.
I guess all of this is to ask for some guidance on our invitations and programs. I would love to include my parent’s names on the invites because they are paying for most of the wedding (fiancé and I are paying for the rest). My parents are incredibly understanding and selfless, so they would not be offended if we did not put their names on it. That is hard for me though, because I have always wanted to have their names on the invites. 🙁 I absolutely wish we could include both sets of parent’s names, but Future Mother-In-Law does not want to have anything to do with the wedding. If we could include just FFIL’s name we would, but it’s awkward because they are married. Any ideas?