Help!! Fiancé doesn’t like my wedding dress

posted 1 year ago in Dress
  • poll: Should I
    Keep the lace dress : (60 votes)
    87 %
    Keep shopping : (9 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    11986 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    weddingnewbee2019 :  Not all lace is the same and that little bit around the neckline in no way reads as frilly to me. I doubt he is thinking of this kind of dress when he talks about net curtains! 

    To the contrary, this dress is understated, elegant and also extremely flattering on you. I would probably just tell him that you have already purchased a dress, and that while it does not resemble the dresses you were looking at, you hope he likes it. 

    Does he know you had already bought a dress when he made these comments? 

    Post # 17
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    He will be amazed by how u look no matter what he thinks now from other pictures you show him of models! I thought i didn’t like lace and I tried on a lace dress and I cried I loved it so very much! If you have the budget get both styles wear one for the ceremony and one later for the later half of the reception! You’re going to be beautiful no matter what

    Post # 18
    Member
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee

    Your dress is gorgeous and you look amazing. Keep your dress! When he says he doesn’t like lace, he is referring to 80s lace dresses with the frills and lacey sleeves and really obviously large lace dresses not your dress which has a nice subtle lace overlay. I can pretty much guarentee that your dress is not what he pictures when he says a lace dress. My husband can’t even tell the difference between lace and crochet, and he says he hates mermaids but sees a photo of a subtle mermaid dress and says its beautiful (because he pictures really obvious and exaggerated mermaid dresses with frilly tails when he says mermaid). 

    Post # 19
    Member
    8265 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    weddingnewbee2019 :  

    Well whilst I personally prefer the top right  ( minus the ubiquitous and unnecessary sparkle belt) your lace dress is lovely and looks a perfect fit on you .

    I’m in the   ‘what would he know?’   camp .  

    Post # 20
    Member
    4669 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I have a similar experience. When I was first looking at dresses they were all form fitting and Fiance commented that he was glad I was looking at things like that as he would hate to see me in a cake topper. I then bought Decklyn by Hayley Paige. I love it but just after I bought it he again said he hates anything poofy or with ruffles. Now my dress is hardly huge and ruffly but ultimately it depends on his interpretation. I’ve been a bit worried since if I’m honest. And it’s also part of the reason I am considering a second dress I know he’ll like. 

    Honestly you should wear what makes you happy and what ypu feel comfortable in. Decklyn made me happy and you can’t fake a “I feel awesome” smile.

    All the best 

    Post # 21
    Member
    3912 posts
    Honey bee

    Lace dresses come in such a broad range of styles that when someone says they dislike lace dresses they may have a certain vision in mind that is nothing like your elegant dress.   You admit to being ambivalent about your dress though so I wonder if you are looking for justification to revert to your original bridal vision 

    Post # 22
    Member
    2494 posts
    Buzzing bee

    None of his business. A bride selects her dress without Fiance input. A groom is dazzled as he catches first look at his bride whether gunny sack or couture.

    Don’t show him what you want to wear.

    In many decades, I have NEVER known of ANY groom (who wasn’t a total jackass) who didn’t think his bride was MAGNIFICENT AND UNIQUE on their wedding day. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    LOL this reminds me of that time where my mom asked my dad if he had a preference on what kind of pan (I think it was a wok or something) he wanted and he went out and specifically said that the wok she showed him at the store was horrible (lacking something he cared about I guess idk). 

    She ended up buying it anyway. “I do all the cooking,” she said. “He won’t even notice.”

    He didn’t. 20 years later, he still has no idea that the wok we own is the one he hated at the store. 

    Men like to be heard. They like their opinion known. It’s an ego thing. If you go with this dress, I guarantee it, he won’t even notice. Wedding dresses are just big globs of white to them. PRETTY globs of white, but just globs of white nonetheless. I honestly think you are overthinking this, especially since he hasn’t even SEEN the dress. I’d still go with it even if he saw the dress.

    He’d probably notice if he hated a fire engine red ballgown with a giant black hoop skirt and skull & crossbone decals and you stuck with THAT, but otherwise, I really don’t think he will notice.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1236 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think the more important question is, do YOU like the dress?

    because you said:

     

    I didn’t have a “this is the dress” moment and I was a bit fed up of shopping by this point.

    total opposite of what I thought I wanted. Some days I love it, some days I don’t.

     

    if you have doubts and can afford another dress, I would suggest trying on the style you want again and see how you feel. You should feel happy and confident and still feel like yourself (but more glamorous). Do you feel like that in this dress? 

    For the record the two dresses you shared do look bridal. It doesn’t have to be lace to be bridal.

    Post # 25
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I would ignore him, men have no idea 🙂 I’m not sure my fiance even knows what lace exactly is lol

    I’m a little biased though. I tried on the Pronovias Princia and loved it, though it was a little out of my budget. The dress I ended up getting was very similar. It’s a beautiful dress and you look amazing in it!

    Post # 26
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee

    I did mind what my fiance would think, and we don’t care about ‘first looks’ and all that, so I brought him along to appointments. 

    He described his perfect idea of the dress as off-shoulder tulle ballgown, like something Belle would wear straight from Disney.

    He definitely hated trumpet/mermaid dresses because he found the shape ‘weird’ and disliked the straight dresses with a poofy overskirt that opens at the front. 

    I tried both styles on and guess what, when it was clipped and fitted my proportions really well, he was in love with both of them. He wasn’t a fan of sleeves but fell in love with a long-sleeved A-line lace dress, completely not what he described before.

    So yeah, he may just not like it on the models. You wearing it is completely different, it’s ‘you in a wedding dress’, versus ‘just a dress’, if that makes sense. All you need to make sure is that it fits you perfectly and enhances your curves. That’ll do the trick 😉

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors