(Closed) Help! Fiance is Best Man and I'm struggling to understand…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You’re not wrong. I’m confused why you’re staying there for so many days though. I assume the wedding is on the weekend? Why are you staying through Tuesday?

Post # 5
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You are not wrong.

while the expenses sound ridiculously expensive, it sounds like he really wants to be a part of this weedding. to cut costs, have you considered staying just 2 days instead of staying through Tuesday? There will be many other incidental expenses that you will incur on the trip.  Do you have to join him on this trip? The cost keeps rising on this trip and you simply can’t afford it. You have a wedding of your own to save for.

Post # 6
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well for instance you don’t have to buy a wedding gift since you’re already putting in so much.  Are there any mutual friends you could rent a car with to cut down on costs?  Are there any cheaper hotels in the area?  

If not then I’d be honest with the groom and tell him that this is not what you had planned adn you’re not comfortable with the arangement and if there is somehting he could do about it.

Post # 7
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MsBaker:  Ahh, okay. I definitely would try to go home on Sunday night if it’s not too late to change your travel plans. They’re asking way too much of you all. 

Post # 9
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsBaker:  Seems like you signed up to deal with a lot of stuff you shouldn’t be dealing with.  I’m curious why you’d agree to clean up, take care of other guests and take care of thier gifts all on your dime?

This whole deal seems way too unreasonable.

Post # 11
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsBaker:  No gift is an obligation. It’s a Destination Wedding (where the gif is your presence) AND you’re practcally working for them, I wouldn’t give a gift.

Post # 13
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would also try to fly home late Sunday night or early Monday morning if money is tight.  Unfortunately, it seems like the groom is trying to help cut costs down for the guests (by sharing the beach house), but there are just too many bodies for beds.  I’m sure he’s looking to his BFF to help him out and just be “cool” with the pull-out couch.

I understand your frustration, but if you can reeeeeeally try to manage sleeping on the living room pull-out for 2 or maybe 3 nights, I’d just do it.  It’s not permanent and it’s for his best friend; I think it’d be very nice of you guys. 

However, after Sunday morning brunch (since I imagine you’d be there anyway), I don’t think you need to stick to any of their other requests.  That’s really asking a lot for people to stay an extra couple days just for post-wedding things like a gift opening.

Post # 14
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsBaker:  He seems a bit like a groomzilla.  How does your Fiance feel about it all?

Post # 15
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This jerk needs to HIRE someone to do all this crap he’s expecting you to do for free. Your Fiance should push back on the beach house – say you can’t come if you don’t have a room.

Post # 16
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eesh. As someone with severe space issues, I totally feel you on not wanting to sleep on a couch with a bunch of strangers, and do not think you’re wrong at all. $2000?! Good lord. 

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