- 6 years ago
I really just need some advice. In this post I’m going to admit some of my biggest faults and that I’m not perfect, and some of my mental/emotional problems, so be gentle.
Sometimes daily life overwhelms me. Sometimes it seems free and easy, and sometimes it seems so hard–the more stressed and busy I get, the more it feels that way (as obvious as that sounds), so I know that to an extent it is normal to feel this way. I started out 2012 really happy. I finally felt like I had overcome all the bad emotions in my life (death of my son, divorce, absent father, my family disassociating with me), and then in January my beloved grandma died, and not only was I dealing with her loss but I was thrown into spending a weekend with my mother and siblings that don’t have anything to do with me anymore, which brought up a lot of bad stuff. Then the next month I had to put my lab down and that is the worst thing I’ve ever been through in my life. He was my best friend, and practically the only family I had left. I haven’t felt really normal or ok since. Also, I have OCD (self-diagnosed)… not crazy crazy OCD, but enough that I have to have my house mostly clean and organized all the time, and the more stressed I am, the stronger the need for clean and organization. Weird, I know.
I adopted a puppy a few weeks ago and haven’t been getting any good, straight sleep (which just makes my brain wiring get off and I have mood swings, fatigue, mini-depression days, etc), and work has been NUTS. I’ve been in counseling for family issues since last year and it’s helped a lot, it’s helped everything.
I guess mostly I’m just venting. Most of this goes on inside my head. Thankfully I have not snapped at anyone during my mood swings, and even though I can be seething inside over the stupidest stuff, no one would know. I don’t want to take my problems out on anyone, least of all my pre-fiance (hehe), and thankfully I have accomplished at least that. He knows when I’m stressed and he’s perfectly supportive, and he does a LOT to help me.
Sorry for rambling… I really am a positive, happy person, but this year has been a little rough, and it’s taken me literally a decade to overcome my toxic family and be happy. I have a good support system and awesome friends.
But my question is , when daily life is overwhelming, what do you do? I don’t know how you ladies with children do it. I can get so overwhelmed sometimes. The daily routine of working, cooking, cleaning, errands can just get to me and make me feel smothered. My personality is such that my personal freedom is of paramount importance, and when it feels like there’s always something to do, always someone needing something, and I don’t get enough personal time I feel stressed and unhappy. Compared to most people, my life is easy and I have a lot of freedom–and I know this–sometimes the problem is I’m busy and stressed, and sometimes it’s in my head and I’m upset for no reason, and I recognize that. Staying on a schedule helps, but for several factors the last 4 or 5 weeks a schedule has been impossible to keep, so I feel especially out of whack. It’s getting better, though.
*sigh* Just looking for some advice from the sage people on here. 🙂