(Closed) Help! Future Sister in Law/Bridal Party Drama

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4102 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

View original reply
weddingbellz55 :  For your future SIL, I would invite her to your bachelorette and ask a friend to keep an eye on her. If she gets to the point of needing to be looked after, said friend can call her husband/SO to come pick her up. To make sure she isnt clingy on the day of, maybe if you’re having a shower beforehand, you can introduce her to some of the girls that will be at the bachelorette, or tell her she can bring a friend. I’m almost always the girl who knows no one and i always appreciated friends who allowed me to bring a girlfriend (someone they had met but weren’t particualryl close to) to their bachelorette since I’m much more social when I have friends with me.

No one but you and your FH decide who your bridal party is. So I would probably ignore comments from your future SIL’s about being in the bridal party. Or say something like “Sorry SIL, we’re having a rather small bridal party but we’re really looking forward to celebrating with you at the wedding!”

Post # 3
264 posts
Helper bee

She sounds very young and if she’s a latcher, it’s just going to be put on you to take care of her throughout the night. I would just tell her you’re nort organizing the bachelorette party and not in charge of invitation, which is usually true as the bridal party does it. For the bridal party, just tell her you’re still considering all your options. 

Post # 4
9754 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Honestly, I think no matter how you let her down you’re still going to come off as a villain who doesn’t like her.

Could you maybe have her do a reading or something at the wedding? Then you could spin it like you have something more important you would rather her do.

Post # 5
7266 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yes! What slomotion said- Have her do a reading! I would also explain to her that your bridal party are people that you have known and been close to for years and leave it at that.

And if you’re going to be the villain anyway, make sure you look fabulous while doing it.

Post # 6
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

My SIL wasn’t in our wedding, nor was I in my brother’s wedding.  A reading is a great compromise .  However, I’d suck it up and let her come to your bachelorette party.

Post # 7
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

im opposed to the idea that one MUST include siblings in their wedding party. you should pick the people that you really want to be standing up there and it should be people that will help you, not hinder you. i would just explain to her that youve picked your bridal party and that really is that. she has no right to be upset about it. i know its easier said than done, especially with dramatic people, but she will have ot suck it up. as for the bachelorette, i do think youll have to suck that one up and invite her. BUT, let your girls know ahead of time and have them do the babysitting. you shouldnt have to do that at all and your friends should be open to helping you out with this situation so that you have the best time possible. good luck bee!

Post # 9
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m having a similar problem. I’m just not talking about details about bachelorette party… FH didn’t invite my brother so I didn’t invite his sister. I felt that was fair…

Post # 10
1415 posts
Bumble bee

I’m going to against the grain here- I think you should ask her to be a bridesmaid. I get that she can be difficult, but is it worth potentially ruining your relationship with her if you don’t ask her? 

Post # 13
1415 posts
Bumble bee

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weddingbellz55 :  hmm, I see what you mean. I think that phrasing it the way you just mentioned–focusing on the positives in the delivery–is key. That seems very tactful. And I like PP’s idea of having her as a reader. She can be the center of attention during that! It’s a sticky situation for sure–I wish you the best!

Post # 14
140 posts
Blushing bee

She’s his sister. He should have her stand with him on his side. If she’s that difficult he should fall on the grenade for you

The topic ‘Help! Future Sister in Law/Bridal Party Drama’ is closed to new replies.

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