- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I need some major help here….My fiance’ and I are having some issues with our original plans for our wedding. Not to go into a long drawn out story here, but since the beginning of our engagement things have started falling apart on my side of the family. My fiance and I are of different religions and I’ve been shown the true colors of some of the people I thought were my closest friends in the world.
My ex best friend kicked me out of her wedding because of my dating my fiance right before we got engaged because she thought I was going against my faith.
My sister thought the same and ended up actually taking my place in my ex-best friends wedding (wearing the bridesmaid dress I picked out and ordered), without telling me. I only found this out 2 days before my ex friends wedding. My sister thought she had to to help out our friend, and felt my friend was partly right. My sister then says our relationship “bothers her conscience”.
My fiance is an Jewish Agnostic and I’m of Christian faith. My fiance is the best man I have ever met in my life. He’s a director of pyschology at a major university in Michigan. Everyone who meets him, instantly loves him. Even my ex-best friend & sister both think “he’s a great guy”. They just both think he’s taking me away from my beliefs, which couldn’t be further away from the truth.
My other sister has let her husband decide if they should attend the wedding or not. He says it’s a not a good example to their congregation for them to attend a wedding with someone who is not of the same faith.
I have lost my best friend, and both my sisters because of their close minded bigotry. These are three of my closest friends for most of my life. They were going to be 3 of my bridesmaids in my wedding. My father and mother on the other hand, have been wonderful. They love my fiance, and are very supportive of our marriage.
My fiance’s family are fantastic. They have never once questioned our relationship and support us 100%.
As a side note, my one bridesmaids has gotten pregnant and lives out in Oregon and can’t travel to Michigan for the wedding. My other bridesmaid, who lives in Colorado, can’t be in the wedding because her other best friend is getting married on the same day we are.
I’ve had to ask three women i’m only “a little” close with, to be my bridesmaids. The thought of looking at my wedding pictures and seeing these bridesmaids I love but aren’t really my best friends is a hard pill to swallow. I also am dreading going to the wedding and seeing all of my fiances friends and family being fully supportive, and seeing my one sister there who has stabbed me in the back and hurt me repeatedly , and knowing my other sister actually won’t even be there.
After all of this happening , my fiance and I had a long thoughtful talk about all this and are thinking that eloping might be the best way to go. We would elope in Costa Rica (where we want to have our honeymoon) and have a nice little reception back home in Michigan.
The other option is just to leave it how we’ve already partially planned it ( at a private house we’ve rented on Lake Michigan and have a small 50 person wedding on the Sands of Lake Michigan).
We haven’t officially decided what to do yet. We’re both really torn because he knows I might be really stressed on the wedding day because of my family issues and not having the bridesmaids I really am closest to, there. But I don’t want to “punish” his wonderful family because of some of my predjudice family.
Please help with some advice! I need to hear from someone outside of our friend/family circles to see what they would do if they were in my situation. Thank you so much!
Sad Bride & Groom in Michigan