(Closed) Help! Having family issues…Wedding in Michigan or Elopement in Costa Rica ???

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
  • poll: Wedding in Michigan Or Elopement in Costa Rica ?
    Michigan : (5 votes)
    36 %
    Costa Rica : (9 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 3
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Wow, that is super tough situation. It is always hard when not everyone you love and care about is willing to support you on one of the biggest days of your life. I’m sorry you are having to deal with all of that. It is completely unfair that they are letting religion get in the way of things. Unfortunately I see that happen way more often than it should. I am Christian and would have no problem going to a wedding of a different faith. My best friend is Muslim and is marrying a Catholic. I mean come on, can’t everyone get along?? LOL. Again, this is a tough situation, but it sounds like your FI’s fam is awesome and I am sure you have friends who will be there to support you both. I think you should do what is best for you. The idea of eloping in Costa Rica with a small reception later is a great idea, but so is the idea of doing a small wedding with just close family and friends.

    It might be super tough to do, but try your best to make your wedding more about you and your great fiance rather than about the people who are NOT there to support you. Again, I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I am sure you will figure it out! Best wishes 🙂

    Post # 4
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @TiffanyH: People kill me. What’s important here is that your parents love him. If your sister and ex-bf don’t, that’s their deal. Have the wedding you want, where you want it. And leave out the people who don’t support you as a couple. Why would you want them there if they don’t support your union? (Man, wouldn’t it be awesome to turn that one on it’s head? “I’m sorry, but actually you aren’t invited b/c you don’t support us!” That’s just my snarky side talking.)

    As for the bridesmaid situation, maybe it’s time to re-eval the wedding (not the marriage – you two sound like a match!). You have a great, intimate venue, why not use it? Have only one person stand with you, or no one, and make it all about your awesome union?

    Have your wedding. Do it in Michigan. And d*mn your sister and ex-bf for their close-minded ways. Don’t let it spoil it for you. Good luck!


    Post # 5
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    No idea what to tell you, but I am so sorry this happened! Going to a wedding isn’t a bad example for a congregation, ostracizing family is. Stay strong.

    Post # 6
    2465 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @An Alaskan Bride: i totally agree. it absolutely sucks that your sisters and bff are so unsupportive, but to me that seems like a reason not to have any wedding party, not to elope altogether. it seems kinda like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. it’s their loss that they’re missing out–not yours.

    Post # 7
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Oh I’m so sorry! 🙁 I agree with the PP who said it might be better to have it locally but not have any bridesmaids.

    Post # 9
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Elope!  I think the great thing about it is you don’t have the stress of planning a big event for everyone else, and trying to worry about what everyone else wants.  You get to focus on what a wedding is supposed to be about… you and your Fiance.  However, if your Fiance isn’t 100% on board, then don’t do it.  Good luck!

    Post # 10
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    OMYGAH…You and I are in the EXACT situation…wow…lol. My FH is Jewish/agnostic, and I am Christian…thank God i’m not the only one lol.  Umm, in all honesty, I would go for the elopement…less stress on you, on the FH, and on the family in general. I would elope in a hearbeat if i had the chance…however, if your FH is not completely up for it, you may want to consider really discussing it and telling him how stressful it has been already trying to plan a big wedding. Who are you getting to officiate??

    Post # 11
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would elope if I were in your position… but if the Fiance isn’t totally on board with that idea, you may want to figure out alternatives.  I hope everything works out, no matter what you decide.  I’m so sorry that your family is causing you so many probs…

    Post # 12
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Be happy, be free, dont put yourself around hate, and dont let yourself be put in a not-so-great position because of it. Elope to Costa Rica and invite both your parents and his siblings if he has any:) Invite the pple to Costa Rica who love and support you the most:)

    Let the pple acting out of discrimination and hate wallow in their own bad feelings, they should only be hurting themselves. Let love win:) sorry so corny haha

    Post # 13
    197 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think you should elope. You can still do something special just the two of you. That’s what we’re doing

    Post # 14
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012


    I’m in a very similar situation to yours. My fiancee is the greatest guy I’ve ever known, and we’re perfect for each other. He’s Christian and I’m Jewish. Everyone is thrilled except for my mother, who won’t come to the wedding unless it’s strict Orthodox Jewish.

    Quite frankly, it’s not worth the heartache and headache. Elope. Actually, don’t “elope”. Call it a “destination wedding” and only invite the people who support and love you, despite any disagreements they have with your life choices. It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship and you should celebrate it fully.

    Good luck and don’t be afraid to make some hard choices to be happy!

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