(Closed) HELP! He cheated, wedding in 3 months.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry this is happing to you. I don’t have any sage advice here. Is he really repentant? Can you totally forgive and let it go? Otherwise, call it off.

 

But seriously, this is like the third or fourth cheating thread TODAY. WTF, hive?

Post # 4
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Um…it doesn’t sound like he did anything that bad…you’d only been dating a few months.  He wasn’t WITH her.  It was just dinner.  He’s not talking to her anymore.  Maybe I’m misunderstanding.

Post # 5
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissHoneyBun: I agree, there are a LOT of anon cheating threads today. I really hope this isn’t going around.

 

@belletear: Honestly, I didn’t read the whole thread but have you gone to counseling for this? Both premarital couples counseling and your own counseling to sort out your feelings?

I would make sure your relationship is 100% solid before going forward with a wedding.

ETA – looking it over, now I’m confused. Did you discuss this 2 years ago? Or did this just come to light? Had you had the talk about being “exclusive” when he went on this date? Has he cut all ties with her?

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m with  missrobots … it happened two years ago and you have an amazing relationship for the last two years and you don’t know if you can forgive him?  I think i’m missing something.

Post # 7
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Ok let me add after re-reading. He has never actually PHYSICALLY cheated, right? That’s not saying what’s he’s done hasn’t been wrong. He’s been deceitful and emotionally unfaithful. 

Girl, he has lied to you since day one. It’s not gonna stop.

Post # 8
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What MissHoneybun said.  Also, congrats to those of you who had the patience to read it all the way through!

Post # 9
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MissHoneyBun: That was my first thought when I saw this thread: WTF is up with all the CHEATING lately?

 

 

@belletear: First of all, kudos to your Fiance for having a phone for 7 years…I’ve never had one that lasted over 2.5!

It sounds like you are having trouble forgetting the past and moving on. That’s understandable because it sounds like a lot has gone on with him and his ex in the past. However, if you want to marry him and make the marriage work, you need to be able to get past this and trust him. Otherwise, you are setting yourself and him up for a marriage filled with bitterness and resentment. If you can’t move past it, then you made need to think about if this marriage is something you really want to go through with. I’m NOT telling you to leave him, but I think you have some serious thinking to do about whether or not you can put the past in the past and focus on the present and future. If you can’t, you can’t. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Personally, I know I could never get past something like this, it’s just not in my personality. But I know plenty of people that WOULD have the strength to move past it. It’s all about what works for you.

Post # 10
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m a little confused…this date that he went out was 2 years ago during the time when you guys aren’t committed yet? 

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

omg that is beyond long, I stopped reading.  Maybe put a short summary up top…

I agree, oodles of cheating posts today.  Sad 🙁

Post # 14
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@belletear: Have you talked with him about it? Have the two of you gone to counseling? Have YOU gone to counseling yourself?

You need to figure out WHY this is upsetting you so much and it if it something you can work past as a couple or if it is something you cannot live with.

Post # 16
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@belletear: if you really love him and want to be with him–then stay. BUT–you have to let this go. Holding onto that anger is a disservice to your whole relationship. It will plague the both of you.

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