(Closed) HELP! He thinks it is too BIG?!?!

posted 13 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Size doesn’t matter imho.  As long as it’s a quality diamond.  From a financial perspective, seeing that the 2.2 is of such good quality, it would be good to purchase that.  Definitely an heirloom and something worthy of passing down.

Congratulations!  I think EITHER choice is a winner. 

Post # 18
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2022

I would definitely go with the better quality stone over the bigger one. We looked at stones much larger then the one I ended up with and ultimately picked the 2 ct. because it was the best stone for our money. The #1 comment I get about it is how sparkly it is. I love that! 

Post # 19
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

IMO, size does not matter, quality does. I have close to a 1 carat diamond it was around what your budget is but it is near the highest quality. It will count as time passes on the color etc. You also need to look at what it looks like on your hand. I have very small hands and anything larger would look like fashion jewlery and very gaudy. I know someone that has a 2.2 ring with my size hands and it looks a little funny to see this huge thing on it. It is a personal choice but you can always fancy it up with your wedding band! I like the idea too of your Fiance liking what he gets you. I love it every time my hubby says when he looks at my ring, that he knew it was me when he designed it. He took my job, style and made it into his own.

Post # 20
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

I say go for it whatever makes you happy, and if that’s the 2.2, then get it! Our best family friends are private jewelers and have amazing diamond contacts- they offered me a 3 carat princess last year for $3,000 that was SI and a 2.1 carat round that was VS something for $2,000 (seriously considered it, but wanted an antique ring!), but a princess cut was the last on the list of cuts I wanted, plus I wanted a truly antique mine cut or European cut diamond- still, would have been a great deal, hah! There are some good deals out there if you have the right contacts.

 

And btw, size and perfection are two different concepts and half the people out there either a. care about the size but not the clarity/color or b. the clarity but not the size. Each to their own- my sister is going for size and could care less about clarity, and if you have a well-cut diamond, then the quality may or may not matter (as long as you don’t start getting into serious cracks, chips, carbon spots, etc., most people won’t be holding a loop to your engagement ring looking for imperfections! Eye clean is fine for most people!)

Post # 21
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I chose a smaller diamond because it was the better quality one.  It was funny they were both side by side and you could tell one was smaller, but it sparkeled so much more than the other.  I know you said you can barely tell the difference, but ultimately over time the smaller diamond will retain more value than the larger less perfect one.  If I were you I would listen to your Fiance and get the smaller one with the pave setting you wanted.

Post # 22
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Btw, the ring from my xh was a gorgeous (great quality too) radiant emerald solitaire over 2 carats.  IT WAS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS!!! 

Not too big imho.  I have little hands.  Loved it!  Never once did I feel guilty about having a gorgeous ring.  Your friends will be happy with whatever you get no matter what you choose.  My sis has a solitaire over a 2 carat size.  It’s beautiful! 

Whether a .25 or a 10.25 carat doesn’t matter.  What DOES matte is what YOU prefer, and if the stone is a WISE INVESTMENT not just for now, but for the future.

Post # 23
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Okay.  I researched diamonds like a crazy person, just like we all did.  But now that I have it on my finger (it’s an heirloom stone from his family), I can tell you one important thing:

Nothing else matters if you love it and it makes you feel special.

Not size.  Or color.  Or clarity.  If that’s the stone that makes you "light up," that’s the way to go.  You’ll always regret practicality, or thinking about what other people think.  Just go with your heart (and your budget of course, but that’s a given!).

My ring is just about the same size, and it doesn’t look "too big" at all.  It’s a great proportion, and with side stones of that size, you’re going to want something bigger in the middle.  Go for it!

Post # 24
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If his parents weren’t going to help him out with law school, I’d say do what makes you happiest. But if his parents are financially helping him, then getting the bigger diamond could create some bad blood. I think he should talk to his parents about it and see if getting the 2.2 carat diamond would make them feel resentful or taken advantage of. I really think their feelings need to be considered since they’re doing him a huge favour by helping him out with law school.

Post # 25
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe..or they might just see their son is a financial genius who can stretch a dollar and get the most for his $$$! (glass half full kinda thought inserted here!)  That kinda guy might make an incredible tax attorney or real estate legal pro!

Post # 26
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Some people here are saying that size doesn’t matter but quality does, but I think it’s a matter of preference (some people will say get the best quality diamond you can afford and THEN worry about the size, but there are lots of people out there who just want a big rock and quality is less important). If you want an heirloom that can be passed down, get the higher quality stone (lower quality diamonds are not investment pieces). But if size is really what makes the diamond exciting for you, get the bigger one.

You’ll need to have a serious talk with your fiance. What other people think about it is irrelevant (but it sounds like you’ll need to convince him of that!), but what you think matters–you’re the one who is going to wear it everyday, and the one who will be holding out your hand for people who notice and ask to see it… you have to love it. He has to like it only enough to buy it!

Post # 27
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would compromise with the FH, and go with the 1.1.   Think of the future!  He has yet to start law school, and the tution is huge.  I would not want to take the chance of upsetting the future in laws on this one.   You could make a joke "promise to drape me in bling when you make partner!" or something to the effect.  

Us ladies are pretty lucky.   We not only receive beautiful rings just for the intention of marriage, but also another one once we get married.  We also receive jewels when we give birth, anniv, mom’s day, b-day, holidays and just because it’s Tuesday (well, the last one was from Burton to Taylor!).

You can feel good knowing that you made a good decision going with the smaller diamond, (take him up on the pave!) avoiding future tense moments with the in laws and a hubby who can look at his wife with pride in knowing that you are beautiful and have a good head on your shoulders.

I hope this advise helps.  Thanks for sharing!!!!

 

Post # 28
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

First and foremost, you both need to agree on this and both be happy with the decision.

But Mermaid brings up a good point on how the bigger one will look in a three stone setting. Of course it depends on how big your finger is, but I wonder if you actually brought the two side stones to the jeweler with you, and held them up next to the big stone? I would be worried that with two .6 side stones and the bigger center stone it would be to wide on your finger.  I have a three stone ring, with 1.2 center, with .33 side stones, and there really is no room for a bigger center stone on my finger!  Then again, I wear a 4.5 size ring, so my finger is pretty small.

Just another thing to consider! But whatever you choose, congrats on getting a ring, any ring, which is really the most important thing of all

Post # 29
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

Edit: I meant getting engaged to a man you love is the most important thing of all, not just getting the ring itself!

Post # 30
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would go with the "smaller" (I put in quotes because 1 carat is a good sized stone!) because it is of better color and clarity! That is probably part of why the bigger stone is not too much more expensive.

Post # 31
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Ralston Hall Mansion

I think it’s important that you and your fiance are both happy about your ring purchase. This is the purchase that marks the beginning of your married life together, after all!

From what you’ve posted, he doesn’t seem completely happy with the 2.2 carat stone right now and you don’t seem completely happy with the 1.1 carat stone. Yes, it might be difficult to pass up the good deal you’re getting on the 2.2 carat diamond, but I wonder if the solution is just to look at a few more stones. Maybe you can meet in the middle size-wise?

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