Post # 1
Hey hive, need some help here. I just found out that my 26 year old cousin (5 weeks younger than me) passed away suddenly yesterday. I’m devastated. We weren’t especially close, but he was family and my heart breaks for him and his gf and parents.
Now Fiance and I just met with our officiant and decided we weren’t going to do a remembrance table or anything because we agreed it would be too sad (this is before we found out about my cousin). While I still don’t want a remembrance table, I’d like to do something to honor my cousin’s memory at the wedding. Not necessarily during the ceremony but I’m open to suggestions.
I was thinking of a charm with his name on it on my bouquet but then thought that might be weird because it should probably be my FI’s name, right? Then I thought we’d leave an open chair for him at the ceremony, but it’s not assigned seating. Sooo open seat for him at the reception? Though I feel like that would make his parents so upset and rightfully so. Which is why I like the idea of a bouquet charm, but then no one will see it.
Suggestions? Maybe a remembrance table is the safest way to go. I’m open to ideas though. Thanks for the advice in advance, bees.
Post # 3
My fiance’s cousin died about six years ago (he was 21). This cousin was the closest family member to him, and would have been his best man if he was here. The family still grieves for him even now, and he doesn’t want to upset his aunt and uncle (the parents), so we’ve been working on the same thing.
He has a ring that belonged to his cousin that he will wear on the day of the wedding. We alre also doing pictures of the family (eitherframed photos or a slideshow that will be displayed on one of the tables), which will include mostly pictures of those who can’t be there, but also childhood pictures of us with our families.
At my first wedding, I lit candles for my grandparents during the ceremony. The officiant announced that we were lighting candles in tribute, but no one was named. In the program, I did put “in honor of… <names>)”. We are considering something similar for this, or a silent toast to them.
I think the charm on your bouquet would be lovely. It’s okay to have it be a private thing like that, because you and he will know. You can also share it with your family if you think it would make them feel better. Don’t feel you’re not properly honoring his memory if you don’t make it public, though. He will know you’ve got that charm, and that’s the most important part (that’s my belief anyway. If it’s not yours, I apologize and mean no offense.)
Post # 4
We remembered/honored our loved ones in our programs….on the back side here is how we honored their memories-
Regretfully some of our relatives are no longer here to celebrate this special day. We feel they are here in spirit and always in our hearts. We would like to remember the following with love:
Rebeca “Reina” Ruiz Madrid-Mother of the Bride
Irene Edith Oatman-Grandmother of the Groom
Mary Castaneda-Grandmother of the Groom
Tony Castaneda-Grandfather of the Groom
Post # 5
You could do a “living tree” a tree with with pictures of anyone who you’ve lost along the way hanging fromt he branches.. The cousin, grandparents, pets, anyone special that couldn’t be there on your wedding day. Then just have a little sign next to it explaining what it is and how those people are special to you. Place in somewhere in the reception area. I don’t think a whole table is neccessary, it may come off a little too sad for a happy day.
Post # 6
Great ideas, thank you Bees!