(Closed) Help! How did you decide when to have your wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

How would getting married in 2019 affect your FI’s financial aid? I would look into this before making the decision. Sometimes it results in a better package and sometimes you lose it altogether! 

I was engaged 11 months. My friends who were engaged the longest were engaged for three years while saving up for their wedding. So there’s really no right or wrong answer to this. 

Post # 3
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Keep in mind that if you have specific venues in mind or a specific photographer etc. they may be booked well in advance- planning for 2020 would be to your advantage. (like our photographer books up a year in advance at least)

We got engaged July 2015 and planned for October 2017 because I wanted to make sure I got everything I wanted booked well ahead of time (and it was super beneficial we didn’t have a problem booking anything).

Post # 4
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

We picked the date based on venue availability. We knew where we wanted to get married, they only had 1 saturday available between June-Sept so the choice was obvious

Post # 5
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

We were planning to buy a house in the first year of engagement and then get married year two. Ended up doing the bulk of it in year two and within 5 months! It was intense and magnificent and overwhelming and I don’t really recommend it.

Time passes pretty quickly. If you have the option to spread things out to make it easier to complete school or navigate other obligations, I say go for it. Wedding planning van be stressful in and of itself. Your Fiance likely doesn’t have a sense of what it entails when he tells you he doesn’t care either way but if you already know that his degree is intense and you have the choice to not make that time more challenging, it’s best, IMO.

Post # 6
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Congratulations on your engagement bee! What an exciting time for you both! Don’t forget to enjoy just being engaged 🙂 We got engaged on July 4th 2017 and we knew we wanted an outdoor summer wedding so summer 2018 just made sense! We chose August 4th 2018 because it felt special having it be exactly 13 months after getting engaged and our dream venue was available that Saturday! 

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Hi bee, congratulations on your engagement.

We decided like this: where I come from we say that you should get married within a year of engagement. Since I got engaged in may we chose the may of 2018 as a wedding date. And than my best friend got pregnant and would not be able to att nd the wedding so I postponed it for this fall. Now she can come already with her baby. 

I think if there are no legal issues choose the date that you guys like the most. It isn’t your wedding after all. 

Post # 8
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I got engaged in August 2017 and our wedding is March 2019 (on our dating anniversary).  I think you should do whatever suits you best 🙂 It’s a personal decision so talk it out with you fiancé. 

Post # 9
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I get married this October but I got engaged in May of 2016. Long engagements are really tough! However we wanted to wait until we were done with school and had a few months of work down so we could enjoy our new marriage to the absolute fullest. We have never lived together before so everything is just very new. I have enjoyed having extra time to plan and also have a life, but it is hard when people who got engaged after you get married before you and all you want to do is get married. I would say if you already live together and it’s not hurting any of his financial aid, why wait? Both have their perks for sure so there really is no wrong choice! No matter what you do, you won’t be able to make everyone happy. Just make sure you are. 

Post # 10
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I say go with what makes the most sense for you as a couple and when do you want to get married.  Fi and I are American,  but our cultural subset tends to have shorter engagements.  Actually fi and I are having a 5.5 month long one and that’s considered REALLY long. We already had several friends get engaged and married or set dates for before our wedding in the meantime. 

Basically,  we picked May 4, for no specific reason,  we are Star Trek geeks,  not Star Wars geeks. We basically looked for a weekend we were both available during the Spring and when I saved up enough vacation time at work.  I also wanted to do it before school was out for the summer so we could do our honeymoon in the off season. 

Now we are in our 30s and don’t have kids,  so we had a pretty open schedule.  We’ve joked multiple times about just running off the Vegas,  but both families are pretty excited for us,  so we just picked a date and found vendors we liked that were available. The wedding is May 4, but the reception is May 5.

I know if you all put so e thoughts into the logistics,  you’ll figure out a date that works for both of you. 

Post # 11
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

We got engaged in December, and I wanted at least a year for planning. I found my dream venue, and didnt want to pay $16,000 for venue hire so we decided to get married off season in April, which is Autumn here. So we ended up with a 16 month engagement, and our wedding date naturally fell on our dating anniversary. So happy we chose to have an Autumn wedding, it was so beautiful.

Post # 12
Member
7550 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

We got engaged in January 2012 and are getting married in April 2019. We only recently started properly planning recently. We chose the date because it will be nice and cool but good weather (Autumn here), wouldn’t be crazy busy or hot for a (hopefully Hawaii) honeymoon, and it’s good in terms of school holidays for the teachers in the family. It being close to my parents’ wedding anniversary was a bonus!

The biggest thing was checking dates with family members who were absolute musts (our parents, our sisters, his grandmother, my extended family on mum’s side that we have dinner with rach week, and my two aunts who live in the States).

As PPs said, the date is a personal decision but if your Fiance is going to be quite involved with planning you may want to go with 2020 to reduce the stress.

Post # 13
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

We got engaged March 2014 and married May 2015.  I wanted a year to plan, plus also as a lot of our guests were coming to Australia from NZ (where I’m from), I wanted a long weekend and the most convenient one was May.  It also had the bonus of being off season so our venue was quite considerably cheaper.

Post # 14
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

I agree with the poster that said to check into financial aid first. You don’t want to become ineligible for what you or he might be getting by getting married. Then decide your budget if you get married sooner rather than later. If it’s going to affect aid you should probably wait. With my original engagement I pretty much refused to even think of a date until after my B.S. got finished because education was important to me. With my second engagement my husband was already in the military and I was done with my degree so all that mattered for us was getting married. All we took into account was making sure people had a few months to give notice to work and get a few days vacation time so they could come, as well as scheduling for summer so they didn’t need to provide child care for their kids and could bring them without missing school. We got engaged early March and were married by late July. I don’t regret this at all. 

Post # 15
Member
1035 posts
Bumble bee

We got engaged October 2017 and are getting married June 2018. Fiance actually proposed to me because I told him I had the perfect date for our wedding and he agreed it was perfect, so he said he needed to actually ask me to marry him so we could start wedding planning (we already lived together and had said we wanted to marry each other at some point). We chose the day before his daughter’s graduation because his family was coming into town for it already, and it happens to be my bday. We are 9 weeks away and I’m so anxious to just be his wife already, lol. 

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