(Closed) Help! How do I convince FH it’s okay to say no to +1s?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Most people don’t put a +1 for grandmother unless she is actually dating someone. That would be awkward IMO to give her a +1. But who knows. As far as the friend goes, how did he contact you about the +1? If it was through e-mail, it would be really easy for me to e-mail him back and say, nope. But it would be harder for me to say something in person. I felt really bad about not giving people +1s for the wedding… so I went back and told everyone they can bring someone if they want to. It just makes weddings more enjoyable if you can bring a guest/date IMO.

Would adding another 30-50 people really blow your budget? I’m not being sacastic, I’m really asking.

Post # 4
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had to break it down little kid style for my FI… adding people means adding $60 to eat, escort card, favor, Out of Town bag, program, menu.   If we invite enough +1 that will result in an extra table, centerpiece and cake so in total a few extra +1 will result in a giant chunk of money for people we don’t even know.  I got the wide open eye, chin dropped and “Oh I didn’t even think of that”.    

Post # 7
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I counted out the number of FAMILY members i’ve had to exclude due to budget/space issues.  My Fiance and other friends who have dare asked to bring a +1 know that if there are any declines, they are going to my family. 

It simply does not make sense for a stranger to come to my wedding when there are so many other people i love and care for that are already being excluded.

Post # 9
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@stephanie920: Oh, well if it really breaks the bank then I would either make Fiance tell him no, or do it myself. But even if a friend knows you, they may not know your family. And they won’t be spending but maybe 3 minutes with you the whole time… so that’s why I think it’s nice to have a date. No, it’s not rude to not have +1s, as long as you let married couples come together, and people in serious relationships. I wouldn’t worry too much about it! Anyone who can’t deal without a +1 just won’t come.

Post # 10
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i’m with your FH – i tend to think everyone should be allowed a plus one, but especially if they have to travel to go to your wedding.

Post # 11
46 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re going through this right now with just invites. I had to say to him the invites cost x amt of dollars. in general, would you just walk up to this person on the street and give them x amt of dollars with nothing in return?

Our guest list dropped by abt 40 ppl give or take this afternoon!

I agree he needs to see each person as an exact amt of money, and then ask him if he’d just throw that out the window to a stranger!

The topic ‘Help! How do I convince FH it’s okay to say no to +1s?!’ is closed to new replies.

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