Post # 1
Hey bees! Just found out I’m newly pregnant, and have an opportunity to visit a remote wilderness lodge that my company sells (we’re a luxury travel provider). I was on the fence prior to finding out, as I’m not adventurous and have a deep fear of water, so there goes half of the activities that would be expected of me.
Now that I’m pregnant (and would be scheduled to go around 8 weeks) I’m super hesitant given it’s super remote location, zero access to medical services (it’s a fly in only resort) and lack of activities that would be available to me. I also would be set up to go with one other colleague (who I’m not remotely close to) and we would share a cabin, surely rousing suspicion when I don’t drink, enjoy the hot tub, sauna etc.
Sooo…. How do I get out of it without my boss taking it super personally AND without sharing my news? I head up the marketing of our company, have expressed vocally that I would love to experience the types of trips we sell firsthand, and I’m concerned it will put a very bad taste in his mouth that soon after he so graciously offers to send me, I turn it down (after initially accepting when he told me to keep the dates free). The only option I can think of is that I can’t justify losing two days of work when I’m one person down, and intend on hiring someone right around the time I would be scheduled to leave.
Help! I don’t want him to think I’m ungrateful or don’t want to go, but I just want to keep my little bun as cozy and safe as can be, especially until I’m out of the first trimester. Suggestions???
Post # 2
busybee86 : I ran into a simular situation as well when I was pregnant and I ended up just telling my boss I was pregnant but I wanted to keep it secret for now. She just told everyone I had family matters to attend to so I wouldnt be going on the trip along with eveyrone else. No one questioned it. So either you share the news with your boss or maybe use the excuse my boss used for me….say you have a family event to go to that weekend that has come up that is really important? Or you could have your doctor write you a note that states that you can not travel? Your boss wouldn’t have to know why you couldnt just state due to medical reasons? Just a few ideas! Im sure other bees can come up with more! Congrats btw!!!
Post # 3
I had to get out of some work when I was pregnant last year, and I just told my bosses I was pregnant. I was 9 weeks along at the time. I think in most situations, it’s easier and seems less shady to do that. Good luck!
Post # 4
KittyYogi : Thanks, and I agree. I thought it over and I’m just going to tell him, for the sake of transparency. It sucks bc I’m only 4 weeks along, but in the event that something goes sideways it’ll be easier that he already knows my situation.
Post # 5
Honestly, I think if you want to go experience it, you should. There is no medical reason for not flying at 8 weeks, and if anything were to happen at that point, nothing could be done about it even if you were at home. Just avoid drinking, hot tubs, etc and all will be just as safe as if you were home.
Post # 6
Agree with pink shoes. Your pregnancy isn’t a reason not to go — you can’t use the hot tub or sauna? So what. You asked your boss about experiencing the outings and he’s giving you an opportunity. If God forbid you miscarry (which I’ve done twice), there’s no real medical intervention possible. I don’t think you have a real reason not to go, and your boss might wonder, too.
Post # 7
Personally, how I felt with morning sickness and vomiting at 8 weeks would make a trip like that a hell no for me. But everyone is different. I think telling your boss and asking him to keep it private is the best call!
Post # 9
I’d go too! you don’t know the co-worker, so for all they know you don’t drink at all. Or you could easily fake drinking. Chances of needing medical care in those 2 days are slim, and they can’t do anything to save a pregnancy at that point anyway. Going would be great for your career.
Post # 10
pinkshoes : You’re pregnant, not severely disabled or ill. You’re early in the pregnancy, and anything that might go wrong, which is basically miscarriage, is not likely to be fixed by a team of doctors. You can have a great time somewhere without alcohol or hot tubs, and this sounds like a lot of fun.
Post # 11
Congratulations on your pregnancy! As others have said, there is really no pregnancy-related reason a medical provider would need access to you at 8 weeks. Whether you are feeling ill or not I’ll at 8w, a two day trip to a luxury lodge would be a really nice distraction. I would definitely do it.
Post # 12
I have two (almost three) small children and would seriously contemplate selling one of them to go on the trip you described. These kinds of opportunities are a real bear to manage post kids. However, I get where you are coming from and if you’re really uncomfortable going, I agree with others- tell your boss. If something does go sideways (miscarriage etc), you’ll likely want to take some time then- and it will be a lot easier to explain what’s going on. Either way, congratulations!
Post # 13
I would also go. But I went to China at 6 weeks and South Africa at 8.5 weeks so clearly I see no issues here. You’ll be in a better situation than me even if somewhat remote. I couldn’t even speak the language in China and had no clue where anything was located.
Post # 14
If you decide to go but don’t want to reveal your pregnancy to your co-worker, you could tell your cabin-mate that you think you caught a mild stomach-bug on the plane. That would easily be your excuse for not drinking or eating certain things during the trip (can say you don’t want to irritate your stomach), and could also easily explain your desire to take it easy and not over-exert yourself. (And bonus, it would explain any morning sickness / excess trips to the bathroom.)
Post # 15
If the wilderness is somewhere tropics I would decline, PPs have good ideas. You can contracted Zika or bugs-borne diseases.