(Closed) Help! How do I get out of an amazing work trip without revealing my pregnancy?

posted 2 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I’d definitely go…what a fun opportunity! Like others said, if (god forbid) you miscarried, there’s nothing they could do to stop it. The chances of you suffering any sort of physical complications from pregnancy/miscarriage in a 48 hour span early on are so low…it’d be like a non-pregnant person worrying about a heart attack or appendicitis, it’s possible but extremely unlikely. 

As for your coworker, unless you make a habit of talking about your love of wine and sushi, they won’t notice. I wouldn’t think twice if my coworkers didn’t drink. Say that saunas aren’t your thing, and if everyone is congregating at the hot tub, put your feet in and visit with them for a few minutes. Nobody else is as aware of our habits/actions as we are. 

Post # 17
Member
388 posts
Helper bee

Also ——- so what if your colleagues guess you are pregnant? It would be incredibly rude of them to comment or actively note it. And there is nothing wrong or shameful with being pregnant, so what does it matter if they reach that conclusion. You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to. Nobody has to justify not drinking EVER. 

 

If you feel well enough to travel, do it! There is no medical reason not to.

Post # 18
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

busybee86 :  I agree with PP that it is possible to attend the trip, however it doesn’t sound like you are keen and that is completely fine too! 

I would probably be honest with your boss, but if you aren’t comfortable with that, you could say something else.  Don’t forget, they may be confused then but they will backdate it down the track when you do inform them that you are pregnant, and realise why you declined the trip.  So don’t stress about that! 

I had an employee acting weirdly and coming in late and calling in sick a fair bit which annoyed/concerned me.  I could have slapped myself when she announced her pregnancy 4 months later – I couldn’t believe I hadn’t guessed (though I would have kept the guess to myself of course)

Post # 19
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

Hot tubs and sauna have been *proved* to be safe at any stage of pregnancy if you enjoy them for no more than 20 minutes at a time (unless you have low blood pressure ofc). They don’t significantly raise your core temperature in that timespan.

There’s no medical reason not to fly. And you don’t need to be near a hospital everywhere you go just because you’re pregnant.

So if you want to go, go and enjoy your trip!

Post # 20
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think if you really wanted to go on the trip and were feeling well enough that you totally could! But if you’re not feeling up for it you should be honest with your boss and let him know what’s going on. Just remind him it’s still confidential. A ton of my coworkers have had babies lately and the supervisors always seem to know first but don’t say anything until they’ve announced!

Post # 21
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

It sounds like it could be a fun opportunity, but that doesn’t mean it has to be right now (I’m not an outdoorsy person. So a “work trip” like this sounds like a nightmare). Bees encouraging you to go have no idea what kind of pregnancy you are having. Someone mentioned insane morning sickness, I imagine if you had trouble conceiving you may not want to over exert yourself at any stage of your pregnancy. The best thing you can do is tell your boss and tell them you want to keep it quiet. I’m sure he wouldn’t tell anyone, and it’s a perfectly acceptable reaso. 

Post # 22
Member
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

A miscarriage in a remote and isolated location is nothing I would wish on anyone. 

If you aren’t ready to divulge, I’d just say you are having some medical issues, and will need to be close to home for awhile. True and true. 

Post # 23
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

I say just tell your boss. But if you’re not ready to disclose that, just tell them you are having some medical issues and can’t attend. Both of my jobs would require me telling my employer immediately that I’m pregnant so I’m prepared for that. At one of my jobs, everyone I work with will know as well since I won’t be able to work in the same capacity I do now (I work in a factory, pregnant women get desk duty)

Post # 24
Member
6864 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally, I’d go. I think it sounds like a great opportunity and even if there are some activities you can’t do what an awesome chance to just see the place first hand as the head of marketing, network with the staff, and even just enjoy some nice quiet time. I know at 8 weeks you typically haven’t seen a doctor yet, however, I would call your OB and just explain the situation and tell them that you have a work trip to a remote location and you’d really feel most comfortable if you could get in to see them a couple days before you leave so they can just check you out. I think if you have a little peace of mind it will make all the difference.

On top of that, I’d probably still tell my boss. A simple “I’m so excited for this opportunity and I can’t wait to check out {venue} and see everything first hand. While it’s much earlier than I would normally want to share, I wanted to give you a heads up that I am pregnant so please don’t be offended if there are some activities that I have to decline.”

Post # 25
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

I guess for me it would depend on location, would it be in a zika zone? Other then that I don’t see any reason why a pregnancy should stop you from going? If you miscarry, god forbid, there is nothing that can be done. I traveled on a 13 hour flight to England, Poland, and Germany right after I got my positive and then at twelve weeks we traveled to Italy and to France. 

I wouldn’t worry about it. Doctors recommend not traveling later in pregnancy, but you are still safe in the early weeks, up to 36, I think to travel. If it’s a good opportunity and you asked to do things like this then I would go. 

I do think maybe you should see how pregnancy affects you though. Some people have terrible morning sickness, I didn’t, so it didn’t really slow me down.

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