(Closed) Help! how do I talk to my aggressive driving husband?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Darling Husband doesn’t drive crazy very often but when he does I usually just grab the door handle and scream “I wanna get there ALIVE!”… but that’s probably not great advice.

Scare tactics? I had a lot of success nudging Darling Husband to quit smoking by showing him a website with stories of people who have died young from smoking. I’m sure there’s similar sources about wreckless driving.

If it came right down to it I would refuse to get into the car with him if things don’t change. Or suggest you drive. If it’s an issue of road rage he may want to try some behavioral counseling to help him learn how to cope with the stress of driving.

Post # 4
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe along the lines of, “I get that you get the thrill of being a wanna be stunt car driver, but if you love me and dont’ want me to be sad, please stop… I dont’ want to ever see anything happen to you.”

Post # 5
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wish I had advice for you.  FI drives like a freaking maniac and he sees absolutely nothing wrong with it.  He knows it scares me, but he thinks he’s a good driver.  He blames the other drivers for not doing what they are supposed to do.  

Post # 6
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly my SO used to be an really aggresive driver, the only thing that stopped him was crashing his car into the ditch and nearly killing himself. Now he drives much more relaxed and actually gets angry with drivers that do the exact things he used to. I am guilty of having a lead foot on the freeway but I don’t tailgate, weave or pull risky turns, passes, and am generally very paitient etc, its not worth the risk.

I have no suggestion for you other than refusing to drive with him, if he doesn’t listen.

Post # 7
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my ex had a habit of playing stunt driver, and didn’t stop until he wrapped the car around a tree with me in it.  sometimes it takes a reality check, but refusing to get/stay in the car if he keeps it up is a good way to show him how serious you are about it.  

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When Fiance and I first started dating he wasn’t that great of a driver,  I wouldn’t say agressive, just…careless.  But he has gotten so much better.  When he would do something dumb/careless I would always say “Precious cargo!” meaning me.  Haha.  His mom even commented how his driving had gotten better and he said “yeah, I have precious cargo now!”  I also would tell him “Drive like you have your children in the backseat”  We don’t have kids yet, but I told him that he wouldn’t want to continue his careless habits with kids, right?  That really helped too.  

Post # 10
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Could you both enroll in a defensive driving course? That way he doesn’t feel singled out and you both benefit from something.

Also, I would have your brother etc speak up! Your husband might think that you are just being too cautious. If more people say it then he might start to listen. They are adults, if they aren’t happy with his driving they should say something! Would they get in the dar with a drunk driver? NO! So why would they say nothing to a driver they see as unsafe? Preferably they should say something at the time that it is happening so he knows exactly what they are talking about. 

Post # 11
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

I agree w/PPs. If you two plan on having children, do you want him driving like that w/a little on in the back? Heck no!

Sounds like you just need to stress the importance a bit more. There are areas where it’s okay to nag. One of my best friends drives like a maniac (“defensively”) & insists that it’s b/c she lives in a high traffic area in MA. Living in Dallas, I can safely say that she’s just part of the problem. Maybe you’re in the minority by driving considerately, but you’re also much less likely to be involved in some careless accident!

I hope he changes his ways soon, for your sake & his.

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