Post # 1
My hub is the most gentle man I’ve met. But I don’t know why, he drives unnecessarily aggressive, especiallly in the downtown area. He’ll turn left when upcoming traffic are pretty darn close, he’ll proceed even some car are backing out – assuming that car will see us. Just a LOT Of instances where he’s unnecesarily aggressively. He doesn’t understand defensive driving. I have chills down my spin everytime he comes pick me up – it’s pretty exhausting.
We’ve come close many times.
And my bro and sister in law hitch rides from us sometimes. They both had talked/complain to me and urge me to talk to hubby. (They didn’t want to seem like he’s bitching) What makes worse the car we drive was originally my brother’s car.
I’ve talk to hubby many time about it. Both gently or the going-crazy-style. I’ve also pleaded with him. It gets better for awhile, but quickly goes back to old style.
Please help!!! What should I do? I feel like I am just waitng for something really bad to happen for once so that he learns! >.<
Post # 3
Darling Husband doesn’t drive crazy very often but when he does I usually just grab the door handle and scream “I wanna get there ALIVE!”… but that’s probably not great advice.
Scare tactics? I had a lot of success nudging Darling Husband to quit smoking by showing him a website with stories of people who have died young from smoking. I’m sure there’s similar sources about wreckless driving.
If it came right down to it I would refuse to get into the car with him if things don’t change. Or suggest you drive. If it’s an issue of road rage he may want to try some behavioral counseling to help him learn how to cope with the stress of driving.
Post # 4
Maybe along the lines of, “I get that you get the thrill of being a wanna be stunt car driver, but if you love me and dont’ want me to be sad, please stop… I dont’ want to ever see anything happen to you.”
Post # 5
I wish I had advice for you. FI drives like a freaking maniac and he sees absolutely nothing wrong with it. He knows it scares me, but he thinks he’s a good driver. He blames the other drivers for not doing what they are supposed to do.
Post # 6
Honestly my SO used to be an really aggresive driver, the only thing that stopped him was crashing his car into the ditch and nearly killing himself. Now he drives much more relaxed and actually gets angry with drivers that do the exact things he used to. I am guilty of having a lead foot on the freeway but I don’t tailgate, weave or pull risky turns, passes, and am generally very paitient etc, its not worth the risk.
I have no suggestion for you other than refusing to drive with him, if he doesn’t listen.
Post # 7
my ex had a habit of playing stunt driver, and didn’t stop until he wrapped the car around a tree with me in it. sometimes it takes a reality check, but refusing to get/stay in the car if he keeps it up is a good way to show him how serious you are about it.
Post # 8
I did try the youtube thing by showing him horrible crashes! It’s scary that it did take an accident to make those similar bf/husband of you girls to understand! 🙁
I think I really will try to be the one driving, especially if my bro/SIL are in the car. It creates so much tension between me+hub and me+family.
Post # 9
When Fiance and I first started dating he wasn’t that great of a driver, I wouldn’t say agressive, just…careless. But he has gotten so much better. When he would do something dumb/careless I would always say “Precious cargo!” meaning me. Haha. His mom even commented how his driving had gotten better and he said “yeah, I have precious cargo now!” I also would tell him “Drive like you have your children in the backseat” We don’t have kids yet, but I told him that he wouldn’t want to continue his careless habits with kids, right? That really helped too.
Post # 10
Could you both enroll in a defensive driving course? That way he doesn’t feel singled out and you both benefit from something.
Also, I would have your brother etc speak up! Your husband might think that you are just being too cautious. If more people say it then he might start to listen. They are adults, if they aren’t happy with his driving they should say something! Would they get in the dar with a drunk driver? NO! So why would they say nothing to a driver they see as unsafe? Preferably they should say something at the time that it is happening so he knows exactly what they are talking about.
Post # 11
I agree w/PPs. If you two plan on having children, do you want him driving like that w/a little on in the back? Heck no!
Sounds like you just need to stress the importance a bit more. There are areas where it’s okay to nag. One of my best friends drives like a maniac (“defensively”) & insists that it’s b/c she lives in a high traffic area in MA. Living in Dallas, I can safely say that she’s just part of the problem. Maybe you’re in the minority by driving considerately, but you’re also much less likely to be involved in some careless accident!
I hope he changes his ways soon, for your sake & his.